Or depression might be kicking my ass?

Typical 5am mini-wake up – but, the headache from hell was reasserting itself again. Had a really hard time getting back to sleep after that, but somehow I managed a few more REM cycles.  

Not sure what today's going to look like in terms of fatigue vs. get shit done.

I know I need to work on Misha's stuff, and now there's the added bit of knowing I need to work on getting this blog over to a WordPress site. Not to mention the Mental Health Pages and the Ghost Story* I should be all about.

Is there a point where I should stop blaming fatigue and maybe admit that depression might be kicking my ass?

Hmmm...

Mental Health / Self-Care:

- Therapy – I mean, if you think about it, everything is interconnected. Lack of sleep can increase symptoms of depression and symptoms of depression can include lack of sleep. It's the "Little or no interest in doing things" that's the real clue here.

I'm not staying on top of my creative stuff.

Most days I just try to plow through this entry as fast as possible because it's the biggest part of my day. And then I just take the rest of the day off and knit or sleep.

OR SLEEP!

Another sign of depression.

FUCK!

Now what do I do?

Am I going to have to lay down the law with Bran and tell him I need a scheduled bedtime? Because that won't work for him.  

I'm fucked.

- Writing – Nothing new to report.

- Reading - Nothing new to report.

- Yarn Therapy – Still slow... still want more yarn.

- Sleep / Fitbit – 6 hours 47 minutes, 2x awake, 19x restless, 49 minutes awake/restless.

- Fur-babies – No visits lately. Not sure what's up with that.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

After I see the neurologist, do those entries go here or under Mental Health?

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – I'm not 100% happy with the new weekend job. I don't get my random hugs during the day anymore and I miss that way more than I thought I would.

- The Unicorn – We had a really typical day yesterday. Anime and Supernatural. Nothing else really stands out.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon - Nothing new to report.

- Sweeties -

Nothing new to report.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

 - Pathfinder – I love it when he checks in. Something about our bond makes it so easy for us to completely understand what the other is going through. I'm at a loss for a label to put on that bond, though. We were pulled together by a cosmic force. Evoked. A Valkyrie to her Pathfinder. It's brilliant, intense, deep, and unshakable.

And yet, in the living world, we're just ambigusweeties. Nothing more. We can never be anything more. He'll never be my boyfriend, or chosen life mate... I don't do boyfriends and I'm already mated.

Pathfinder and I are both 100% comfortable with ambigusweeties, though. Hell, he's the one who labeled us Ambigusweeties in the first place. We're fine with it because we share this Evoked bond. We know exactly who we are to each other. So, it's all good.

I hope someday I get to spend some solid time with him. He needs it. He's a bit ragged and he needs his Valkyrie to care for his wounds.

- Cuddle Crush - It's done. It's over.

Last night she posted a status update that she's now in a closed relationship.

I Honor the divine feminine in her that allowed me to have feelings for a woman. I'm still grateful to her for that and I sincerely wish her well.  

This is the last I will ever say on the matter.

#LettingGo

Relationships / Just Friends:

Nothing new to report.

End Notes:  

This week I only have Monday and Friday open for projects. So, I'm going to try to book some time both days to push myself to work on them.

Honestly, I think Misha should come first.

I need to get my Misha hugs.

--

*Oh... yeah, for some fucked up reason, the URL settings for Baphomet Called (Ghost Stories/Erotica) have been changed. So ALL my other entries that linked back to my other blog are not fucked.

Thanks Blogger.

Assholes.