Annnd... yeah...

So, Criminy might back out.

Omg… the suck!

When he made contact last night he simply said he'd need a few days to rest and recover. Apparently I actually drained him a lot more than I'd realized. He says he didn't mind, but now he has to decide if this is a 'sustainable' relationship.

Ugh…

Learning experience either way. He got to feel what it's really like to be fed on by a succubus. But, now he has to figure out for himself if that's the kind of relationship that he really wants, even in the short term.

It would suck ass to lose him.

I really did love feeding off of him, and I know I could learn to a) not take too much, and b) teach him how to stay safer so I'm not draining him. I could teach him how to recharge and also to channel… there are ways to make this safer for him, he just has to trust me enough to give me that chance.

The suck.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - I didn't game yesterday. Cramps. I just laid down and suffered.

I see both Valkyrie and Bubbles today. But, my phone is on the verge of being fucked up again. Who knows how long it's going to take to fix this time.

This is a nightmare.

 - Writing - I really need to get back on top of this. I have people anxiously awaiting the new chapters!!

 - Sleep / Fitbit - 7 hours 57 minutes, 3x awake, 11x restless, total of 35 minutes awake/restless.

 - Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Caffeine - Should be fine with 3 today.

 - Blood Sugar - 132

 - INR - I need to start answering my phone. I think they're calling from a number I'm not used to.

 - Nervous System - Tomorrow.

 - Inflammation - Seems to have gone down a little bit.

 - Exercise/Yoga - I'll pick this back up after I'm done bleeding.

 - Weight Management - Fuck you.

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - So, we're closing in on the second month without him being back on time…

Somehow we're managing to survive this.

I'm not sure how… but we're managing.

I think the longer phone conversations are helping.

I think the small feeds I've been getting have been helping.

I KNOW the Blue Falcon has been helping.

I still feel like I’m dying without him.

I don't know how much longer I can last.

 - The Unicorn - She's done with the 7th grade soon…

Ye gods, time flies.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bio's there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]

 - Recent Encounters - Nothing new to report.

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - I'm going to book snuggles… Blue Falcon snuggles makes everything better.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - It would kill me to put Criminy here…

I mean, I get it! He has to do what's right for him. But, I really liked him. He was the first person to touch Fuschia since Set. I never realized how much I MISS having someone to play with the succubus side of me until Criminy.

It would hurt to lose him.

 - The Hopefuls - I might have a date tonight. A body massage has been promised. We'll see where that leads. I'm still bleeding a lot.

I fucking hate cramps.

 -- Friday -- Still nothing new. He hasn't even been on OKC since last Friday.

I know he's not okay.

I just hope he'll be okay soon.

 - Honorable Mentions - Nothing new to report.

End Notes:

I've been debating letting the succubus side out on the unaware.

The one night stands.

I mean, why not?

They're only using me for sex, right?

Why not use them harder?

Why not feed harder?

Why not suck the life out of them and see them as prey instead of allowing them to prey upon me?

Who the hell fucking cares if they're not going to come back anyway.