Chase the Bad Things away...

In just a few short hours, there will be Blue Falcon hugs.

Ye Gods, are they ever needed too.

With Friday on Hiatus and no other strong blips on the radar… things are looking pretty bleak on the sweetie front.

Sometimes I just wish I had more Blue Falcon. Like, maybe if he wasn't so busy with work or other social engagements. And yes, I'm fully aware that's a selfish wish.

I'd settle for more sweeties *like* the Blue Falcon.

But, it seems as if he's really the only one taking it for the team right now.

At least there will be hugs soon.

Tonight isn't like previous Sundays. He's not going to stay over after the Unicorn goes home. The Blue Falcon runs a movie night on Sunday's now, so he has to get back in time for that event.

I’m sure I'll get to see him again for some private time soon, though.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - I game like 8 hours a day… shit, it's like it's a job or something.

 - Writing - No work done yesterday. I got off to a slow start and then later the Unicorn ate up the rest of my productive time. No work will be done today either.

I should be back on track tomorrow, though.

 - Sleep / Fitbit - The Unicorn got tired early last night, so she actually crashed out before I did. I got to bed on time and locked in 8 hours 15 minutes, 3x awake, 13x restless, total of 27 minutes awake/restless.

 - Fur-babies - Dreamy came by for a little bit yesterday. Spent most of the time hanging out at the foot of the bed near the Unicorn. He got some pets and some loves. I considered it cat therapy because I paid some attention to him. He's such a good boy. He didn't want to go home, though. It was sweet.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Caffeine - Still on one now and I'm already waking up. So, I know I'll be fine with just 3 today.

 - Blood Sugar - 112! Check that shit out! Finally a dead in the middle NORMAL reading!

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - It seems like I miss him more and more every day.

I feel like I was doing okay before April. I was getting enough sex, so I was getting fed. I was fine with the one night stands because I was still able to use that energy to my benefit. I was FINE. I was doing okay without him. Better than I would have ever thought I could do without him.

But there was a time limit on that. I had expected him to only be gone the six months. And as soon as it became clear that he could be gone a whole lot longer, I lost my shit.

Now I'm far from okay and every day is just another struggle to survive. I'm clinging to life and to things like the Blue Falcon just to stay alive.

Fuck.

I just wish he'd come home.

 - The Unicorn - She's so sweet.

The lack of proper internet has meant that we're skipping our Buffy/Angel bonding time for another weekend. So, yesterday she got the idea that she wanted to watch a horror movie with me. Just to spend some time with me.

OMG, I have the best kid, ever!

We watched The Descent. It was awesome. She wasn't freaked out at all. Her reaction to the monster was to wonder if she could make friends with it.

We're doing our belated Mothers Day thing today. The Blue Falcon is coming too. I can't wait… it's going to be great.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bio's there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]

 - Recent Encounters - Nothing new to report.

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - As previously mentioned, he's coming over today…

I can't wait to hug him. Even if it will be just a short 'hello' hug. Just having him close to me is enough to chase this hole in my chest away for a little while.

I hope we get some private time together soon too.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - Nothing new to report.

 - The Hopefuls - There are some hopefuls on the radar. I do have a date coming up in 6 days… *sigh* I'm just not _excited_ about anyone… not like I was excited about Friday.

It feels like no one could ever compare to Friday. To what I needed him to be. To what I knew he could be.

 -- Friday -- He's still in dead space. I haven't even seen his green OKC light on… so, he's not even checking messages or anything. I have no idea how long he's planning on staying gone or if I'll ever even hear from him again.

Fuck… this hurts.

 - Honorable Mentions - Nothing new to report.

End Notes:

So, Blue Falcon hugs…

Today they are needed…

Truthfully, every day they're needed.

Ye Gods… I just wish everything would stop hurting so much.