Just a taste...

So, it appears that I did speak too soon on my date from Tuesday. We only exchanged a couple of texts after and then _nothing_ yesterday.

I've been ghosted…

… again.

It's highly disappointing because I really did think that we had a connection.

Bran has told me not to worry about it and that he might just be dealing with difficulties on his end, like what happened to Gingersnap. And, he's right, I shouldn't write this one off yet, but I should be careful with my level of emotional attachment.

I will say that I fed enough off of him that I was able to get back to my 'normal' yesterday. I was able to get food down. I was able to put in my hour worth of work before I had to let the story build in the back of my mind a little bit. I was able to get enough strength to feel better about putting myself out there again.

Also… I was able to accept the situation with Bran again. More about that in his section.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - Game Therapy continues to take up a huge chunk of my time. I do still feel bad about how much time I'm investing in it and it's a constant struggle to keep reminding myself that it's really an time investment in 'me'. This is really my mental health on the line and the gaming is helping with that. It's keeping me distracted from the fact that Bran is where he is instead of being home with me. It's a struggle to be okay, but I have to keep trying.

 - Writing - I did map out sort of where I think this is going with the current narrative after adding the totally trope kiss in the rain. It's adding a new layer of depth, but now I have to deal with that new layer and how it affects the other layers. It's definitely a challenge. I’m hoping to get somewhere with it today.

 - Sleep / Fitbit - Bands should be hitting my hot little hands sometime today. We remain hopeful.

 - Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Caffeine - Only just started on 2, but it feels like I should be okay with 3 today.

 - Blood Sugar - 133. I really wish I knew what was keeping it above 120

 - Exercise/Yoga - I definitely plan on doing my 5 min after the writing but I'll skip the 'before gaming' because I'll be walking around with the Blue Falcon later.

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - Thanks to my feed two nights ago, I’m in a much better place with Bran.

I recognize that he's doing what he has to in order to survive. Same way that I'm doing what I have to in order to survive. Some of those things may not align with what the other wants, needs, or approves of. So what. The game right now is survival. That's all that matters. We have to survive so that he has a home to come back to. We have to survive so that he has a relationship to come back to. We just have to survive.

Neither of us really have to like it.

He fucking hates _her_.

He called me last night as he was on his way to buy her an ACE bandage. She'd apparently missed a step and sprained her ankle. He was laughing his ass off at her.

He's also not co-parenting at all. He's not 'mating' at all. He doesn't touch her. With the new place and the couch the former residents left behind, I don't even think he's sleeping next to her anymore. He doesn't touch her dog or her kids. He might feed a child occasionally, but he hasn't changed a diaper in several months.

She's pretty much on her own and very unhappy about this.

I guess it's been brought up by him, more than once, that he should just pack his shit and move back to the cities. And then she'd mope and say something about him getting back together with me.

He tells me that he'll just smirk at her when she says this, because there's no 'getting back together' with me. He never left me. He just hasn't told her that outright.

Notice, not 'yet'.

The plan isn't to tell her, ever.

When that relationship 'fails', we need her to blame herself or her demon hellspawn. With any luck she'll actually take some fucking responsibility for how much of a cunt she really is, even though that's really not likely at all. She's most likely just going to blame it all on the elder abomination. She won't believe that any of this is her fault. Not her. She's too caught up in her own drama for that.

But, if she finds out that he never left me? No, then there would be no chance of her taking responsibility at all, and we want to give her that chance to grow the fuck up a little.

*sigh*

We remain hopeful.

 - The Unicorn - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bio's there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]

 - Recent Encounters - Nothing new to report.

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - Date with the Blue Falcon tonight, but it's a running around date. We might get some naked snuggles in, but it's likely that he won't be staying long again.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - I'm sad that the date from Tuesday was just a one-time thing… I really enjoyed his company and he was good to feed off of. I would have loved to have seen him again.

*sigh*

Poo

 - The Hopefuls - No other hopefuls currently on the menu, but I'm being much pickier than I was before. If they send up any 'just sex' red flags, I won't meet with them. So, that significantly limits my feeding pool and I know it.

It might change in the future. I'm not sure.

 - Honorable Mentions - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Former Sweeties:

 - Jasper - Nothing new to report.

End Notes:

My greatest hope for the near future is being able to feed more.

Just having more quality contact with positive masculine energy.

Maybe I should put a profile up on Cougar Life?