Balance the Scales:

Friday and I are chatting again.

:)

Yeah, ever since I moved back to my original OKC profile he's been a lot more present. So, that's been wonderful. I'll be adding him back into the regular report section.

I'm really annoyed with the amount of 'non-local' attention I've been getting on OKC. It's irritating that no on seems to read where I have it clearly stated in my profile that I don't want long distance relationships of any kind.

Grr

Anyway:

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - I hit burnout early and gamed a lot last night. Not sure, but I think I got somewhere on a quest that could free up some bank space. So, here's hoping.

 - Writing - I'm in a bit of a frustrated place with act one. There's about a 3 month time skip in there and I 'tell' in just a few paragraphs what happened over those three months. I'm pretty sure my critters are going to tell me that they want me to show that being dramatized out more.

Technically this shouldn't be a problem, except for the fact that I'm already way OVER the word cap for act one.

If I have to add in more chapters, I'm probably looking at having to raise my final word count, again!!

It depends on how over or under the limit I'm willing to allow myself to be. It's been said that the percent markers can be more forgiving with books… but… I want to get this right.

*queue frustration and worry*

 - Sleep / Fitbit - 8 hours 8 minutes, 3x awake, 12x restless, total of 31 minutes awake/restless…  (okay… )

 - Fur-babies - Both Dreamy and Splotches dropped by, but no one requested snuggles. They mostly either wanted to explore or hold down the floor. That's cool, I had to do my exercise anyway.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Caffeine - Should be fine with 3 today

 - Blood Sugar - 129 this morning.

 - INR - Getting checked today.

 - Nervous System - Appointment scheduled for next week.

 - Exercise/Yoga - Still skipping the afternoon sets… I need to work on that more!

 - Weight Management - I should really check my weight, but the diet is so far from paleo that the inflammation is spiked out of control. I'm afraid that any news would be bad news.

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - He literally hasn't gotten laid once in the entire time that he's been gone. Poor guy. I do feel for him. His sexual frustration is through the roof. He's already talking about banging me two to four times a day when he gets back. I'm not even sure I can handle that much sex, but I want to be there for him.

Both of us have evolved and changed so much during the separation. I don't really need the sex like I used to. I need comfort. I need someone to be tender and loving with me. I need support.

I need healing.

Bran just isn't the healing kind of guy.

Or, at least he wasn't when he left.

I mentioned that last night and he said that he might have evolved into more of one because of all of _her_ bullshit that he's had to deal with.

I’m not sure how I feel about that. The idea of him being compassionate towards her churns my stomach something awful. But, if he's right and he's grown/evolved from it. Then maybe some good did come out of this for us both.

All I know is that it's going to be weird when he finally comes home because he's been gone so long. Our relationship will literally be starting over. Everything is going to be new again and it's going to be hard to get used to him being there. Now that I know what I can be without him. I have to wonder what I can really be with him.

What kind of person will I be if that support is always there and I'm not just feeding intermittently?

What kind of person will I be once I've healed from all the damage that's been done?

 - The Unicorn - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bio's there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]

 - Recent Encounters - Nothing new to report.

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - No return text from the Blue Falcon yet… that has me a bit worried… I hope I didn't offend him by asking for his help with Bran's tires.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - Nothing new to report.

 - The Hopefuls -

 -- Friday -- Like I said, we're finally talking more again.

A lot is very hectic on his end. Work, two girlfriends. Kids… a sick baby. He's desperate to get away and spend a little time with me, but he's not sure when he can make that happen.

His biggest fear is that I'll think he's some sort of creep because he needs to keep our relationship a secret. I've done my best to reassure him that won't happen, but I haven't told him about the Virgin Goddess yet. That's a conversation better left for in person.

I still think it's pretty amazing how we seem to be exactly what the other needs in terms of lovers. I really hope we get a chance to explore that at some point.

Even if that's not soon. Neither of us are going anywhere. I think I'll be his goddess to fuck for a good long while.  :)

 - Honorable Mentions - Again, we're down to more of the dishonorable mentions.

I had to tell one guy off yesterday because he wanted to show me his cock.

And then this other asshole asked me twice what I was looking for, the second time after I ignored him on the first. I was hoping that if I ignored him he'd go look at my profile and figure it out. So, when that failed and he asked me again, I just told him that I'm looking for a guy who knows how to read a profile and not ask redundant questions.

That shut him up.

End Notes:

There are still a couple other hopeful gems on OKC… I'm not ready to give up on the whole thing yet.

But…

I’m not holding back on the Demon Bitch Goddess either.

I have enough guys to pick from and other ways to spend my evenings. I'm under no one's rules to be nice to everyone. I give chances to the deserving. And that's that.