This morning Bran and I were talking about the American cultural failure to write and speak proper English. Especially the incorrect use of negatives, homophones (words that sound the same but are spelled differently to convey different meaning), and teenagers growing up to believe that text shorthand is going to work on things like school papers.
Especially as a writer myself, that last one just pisses me off.
I just feel like we're failing as a culture to teach people how to communicate and it just keeps getting worse with each passing year. Who knows how long it will be before such ignorance will just be the accepted normal of American standard?
How long before we're literally the babbling village idiot of the worldwide culture?
This thought disturbs me greatly.
Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:
- Therapy – The thing about being someone so severely mentally ill, and yet so incredibly well balanced, is that I can fully get inside the workings of someone else's mental illness and I can show them similar pathways to recovery. Or, at the very least, pathways to balance.
Take me, for example. I'm balanced, yes. But, am I recovered? Oh hell no.
Recovery would mean being able to hold down a job and successfully reinsert myself back into productive society, and that's likely something that will never happen. Between the 'thin skin' of my severe Borderline Personality Disorder and my crippling Social Anxiety, I wouldn't last a month back in the work place. I would last just long enough to lose every shred of financial support and health care that I already possess, and then I would find myself unable to cope, destitute, and very likely homeless for a few years again before I could qualify for the support programs to keep me stable and housed.
Not worth it.
So, I'm balanced, but I'm not recovered. I've learned how to survive with my mental illness and I've learned how to live within my limitations. I've learned what I need to in order to have control over my issues. But, I still have to stay in my safe little bubble in order to maintain that control.
Still, my perspectives are still able to inspire and help others. Yesterday I was able to work with Pathfinder to help him recover from his harsh holiday experience and moving forward I have a pretty clear idea of what I need to do in order to help him survive further experiences if he finds them unavoidable in the future.
And it was just speaking from the mind of someone severely mentally ill, and yet totally in balance, that put me in that place for him. I just knew what to do.
Then again, It's Pathfinder, and somehow I ALWAYS know what to do or what to say or what he needs to help him. Even if we're not openly communicating at the time. It could just be me thinking about him at the right time, or him thinking about me. I'm just there with him and I can help him through just about anything.
We have a pretty special bond.
- Writing – Yeah right...
- Reading – No further reading since yesterday.
- Yarn Therapy – I'm in the process of sewing down the embellishments on Misha's leg warmers now. I forgot to use the straight pins to get one of the butterflies in place before I sewed it down and now one of the wings is all fracked up.
Deformed butterfly...
I'm hoping he just won't notice.
The process of sewing these things down is a lot harder and more time consuming than I was anticipating, so it's starting to take a lot out of me and I'm really excited/aching to start my next project. Especially since I think I figured out how to make the pattern more fluid.
But, these embellishments have to come first. And I have to work on the Scarf too!!
I’m going to run out of leaves. I have plenty of yarn to make more... but that means scanning YouTube for the same tutorial I found to make them the last time because it's been over a year and I've forgotten the process.
It's going to be worth it when these are all finished, I know, but... my goodness it's a process getting there.
- Sleep / Fitbit – My Fitbit battery died at exactly bedtime last night... so, no report today. All I can tell you is that I know I slept much longer than 4 fucking hours, and yet I still feel like ass today.
- Fur-babies – OMG, the Dreamy sweetness! - I was already down for my nap when Catmom called, so I invited Dreamy to come take a nap with me. I REM'ed at least once and when I woke up Dreamy was done with his nap too. He got up and left the room and when I went out to find him after Catmom called to come get him, he was laying ON Bran as Bran laid on the sofa. So sweet. He CUDDLES Bran. Like way more than he cuddles me. He loves him so much. It's so fucking sweet.
Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:
- Exercise/Yoga - Today is my designated 'restart day' on the exercise, but it's not going to happen. I'm too wiped out... I'm doing laundry today, though... it doesn't seem like that's exercise, I know, but It's something. Housework does count.
Relationships / Family:
- Bran – He reached for me this morning.
I fucking love it when he does that.
- The Unicorn – Nothing new to report.
Relationships / Sweeties:
- Updates on Favorites -
- Blue Falcon - Nothing new to report.
- Sweeties -
- Bear – Another quick check in from him this morning... he's having a really rough time with this separation... I wish there were more that I could do for him.
- AmbiguSweeties -
- Pathfinder – I know he's okay now. Pretty soon he'll be back in the regular routine of his training and all the stress of his holiday will be behind him.
I do need to either research or write up some shielding meditations/techniques for empaths, though... it's not too soon to begin that training for him.
Relationships / Just Friends:
Nothing new to report.
End Notes:
I don't have anything to say in closing... I'm just going to get on with my day so I can wrap shit up and get back to these legwarmers.
Deformed butterfly... indeed.
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