This is the first time I've ever stood up to him.

So... fuck the kid gloves. I tried to handle JerkDad gently and he's just too much of a sociopathic narcissist to cope with it.

In my email I had told him that I was really happy he was seeing a nutritionist, but I was still a little worried that the Unicorn wasn't getting any protein at breakfast. She had told me the school breakfasts were mostly bread, with eggs maybe one day a week.  

That's it.  

That was my only concern.

Is the Unicorn getting enough protein at breakfast?

He sent me a response email with a fuck ton of statistical data about how/why vegetarian is so healthy. And then he went on about how his nutritionist has a PHD in nutrition, so he must know what the fuck he's doing.

A whole, giant paragraph about "I know what the fuck I’m doing."

Not one, single mention about the Unicorn or her school breakfasts.

This was my reply:

Dude, relax.

I already said GOOD FOR YOU, and "I trust your nutritionist." - you didn't need to go into all of that.

All I questioned was whether or not SHE is getting any real protein at BREAKFAST because SHE told me it's mostly bread.  

Not you, and not anything to do with YOUR nutritionist.

You don't have to be an egocentric ass about it, just double check and make sure OUR CHILD is okay.

It was probably over the top, but it's long overdue. This is the first time I've ever stood up to him.  

I know he'll make me regret it.

He's a dick like that.

But, whatever.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Therapy – My anxiety is going to spike a lot today. I've never stood up to him like this. I've never called him an ass to his face like that (well, his sorta face, I mean, it was just an email) - I know I should feel proud, but I just feel the knots starting to twist.

The only thing I can do is ride this out. He's going to respond all nasty and shit. This is going to turn into an email fight, I'm sure.

Or... not...

His next reply is just going to be more narcissistic bullshit about how he's so superior to me anyway. So, why give him the satisfaction of a response? Maybe at that point I just walk away?

Bran taught me how to let JerkDad win the petty skirmishes a long time ago. I have no issue with that. I'm perfectly fine with walking away and letting him think he's had the last word.

Truth is, I won this war ages ago.

It's always been about the high ground. Bran taught me that too.

I step back, I rise above, I watch the plays. I see where JerkDad's next move is and I let him take it.

He never has any clue that I'm manipulating the battlefield and maneuvering him right into position where I want him. And yeah, Bran taught me that too.

All this metaphor basically grinds down to the Unicorn and her choices. Who she places her trust in and who she chooses to love.

Especially in the beginning, JerkDad played every possible parent alienation game with her, trying to turn her against me.

Well, a) she has a bullshit meter a mile long. That's inherent and had nothing to do with me. But, also b) by that time Bran and I had already taught her how to root for the underdog. So, when she saw her father and my entire family ganging up on me, she backed me.

It's been me for years.

JerkDad tries so hard to prove he's the better parent. Space Camp, Horse Camp, spending gobs of money on her... whatever.

He's still a narcissistic, sociopathic, abusive asshole, and she knows it.

She picked me a LONG time ago.

So... sure, let him get his panties in a twist because I called him an  ass to his face.

In the end, it won't matter.

She fucking hates him anyway.

- Writing – Nothing new to report.

- Reading - Nothing new to report.

- Yarn Therapy – I didn't have enough brain to work on Misha's stuff this morning, so I just continued on with the Spiritual Ripples. It's still pretty slow going, but it's good. I like it.  :)

- Sleep / Fitbit – 6 hours 27 minutes, 8x awake, 8x restless, 24 minutes awake/restless - damn! Pretty good sleep quality last night! YAY!

- Fur-babies – Last night I was running water in the kitchen sink (phone in the bedroom) when Catmom called, but I saw the missed call right away, so I went over and knocked. Dreamy came right out and followed me home. He got some loves and took his nap. Then the Unicorn arrived and Dreamy got some hugs and loves there. Then Bran returned from a small shopping trip and Dreamy got to sniff him too.

All in all, Dreamy knows he's loved. And he got his nap.  :)

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Blood Sugar – I checked my blood sugar post meal yesterday and it was 166. That’s a lot higher than I would like it to be. :( - I think once my psychiatrist and I bring my psyche med down to zero, that should hopefully level out. I know that particular med effects the blood sugar in a bad way.  

There are other health advances as well... we'll get this under control soon.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – Bran was shopping last night for some small stuff. Enough to keep the Unicorn happy this weekend and some minor things for me as well. (I was out of tuna) - then he found something, and I was on the phone with him when he found it. He was VERY happy to have found it, but he wouldn't tell me what it was. It was mostly a 'You! You are going in my basket and I am taking you home to my wife as a surprise!"

OMG... I fucking love him.

Turns out his surprise was Mammoth Green Olives! DOUBLE STUFFED with Jalapeno and Garlic.

Yeah, between the two of us, the Unicorn and I, we nearly polished off the whole jar.

- The Unicorn – I'm making Chicken Noodle for her again this weekend. She loves the fuck out of my Chicken Noodle.

She knows about the email I sent to JerkDad this morning, and she's nervous about it too. She says it was too over the top and that it will make him mad, but I did tell her that I don't care and that It's about time that I stood up to him.

Other than that, our weekend is off to a great start. We're watching Supernatural, alternating with Fate/stay night.

This morning we kicked off with Supernatural and it was the Mystery Spot episode. So awesome!

I just need to remind her to do her homework today.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon - Nothing new to report.

- Sweeties -

Nothing new to report.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

 - Pathfinder - Nothing new to report.

- Cuddle Crush – I've been going over things in my mind more and now I'm pretty sure that  this is NOT my Borderline manipulation kicking in. This seems to be some fairly rock solid logic.

You see, Cuddle Crush is Borderline too. And sure, that does mean that Cuddle Crush is pretty fucked up because it seems to be in the intermediate stage and still needing a lot of work. But, that's also about the time where Borderlines start to get proactive about their own mental health. I know Cuddle Crush is getting help...  

I know Borderline.

I know it well.

Cuddle Crush is already getting treatment! So there will be no need for any pushing there. This means I can bring Borderline freak outs to the foreground of attention and hopefully calm things down if they're getting out of hand.

Okay... so, start taking this a few steps further...

What about, instead of permanently hiding the fact that I have this enormous crush, based on some whacked out notion that I'm protecting my beautiful Cuddle Crush....

What if I'm just open and honest about my past mistakes?

What if I just ASK Cuddle Crush for HELP in watching out for those same mistakes manifesting so they can be controlled and steered away from?

What about the whacky notion of having my cake and eating it too?

Too risky still?

Or worth the risk?

Relationships / Just Friends:

Nothing new to report.

End Notes:  

The day is starting to get away from me a little bit here.

No response from JerkDad yet.

Wouldn't it be awesome if he was the one who didn't justify me with a response this time?