... despite my vow of 'no more trusting anything with tits'.

I lit a candle for someone last night.

This is an extremely rare occurrence because I have an exceptionally limited supply of candles and no money to buy more. But, I just felt that she needed it.

She doesn't have a code name, yet. I've been thinking of one, but I'm waiting until we've had a chance to hang out a bit before settling on it. I want to make sure it truly fits her personality. She deserves that.

Right now, we're only friends on Facebook. I found her through a mutual social circle and we've chit chatted a little here and there. She seems like she'd be really cool to hang with despite my vow of 'no more trusting anything with tits'.

She's on the tail end of a pretty bad rough patch, which has me in Healer Mode, hence the candle. I sent her a message and a picture, telling her what I'd done and she messaged right back to tell me how much she appreciated it.

That felt good!

I always worry that I'm overstepping and that my help isn't wanted or desired. So, for her to appreciate me and my efforts... that really meant a lot.

Anyway, I hope we get a chance to hang sometime.

She seems like she'd be a great person to get to know better.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Therapy – I'm beginning to close in on a much more solid notion of where I currently stand with my mental health in regards to my relationships. Both 'mate' and 'external'.

You see, I wasn't expecting Bran to come back changed as much as he has been. This new Bran is... something out of my deepest fantasies... and now it's here, in the flesh.

This has significantly impacted and altered my needs when it comes to my external relationships.

Bottom line... I really don't need them anymore.

Nothing is missing with Bran anymore. So, I just don't think about needing or wanting anything else right now.

Okay, so, he still doesn’t have a spiritual side, and he's still way too fucking gentle when we have sex, but it's okay. For some reason I still don't feel deprived of those things.

Last night I was messaged by someone, telling me that he's still very sexually attracted to me. I had posed for some nude photos with him over the summer. I ended up giving him the brush off. Just a 'gentle as possible' thanks – but no thanks.

The only person I still want outside of Bran is the Blue Falcon, but that shouldn't be a surprise. We have a very special bond and I'll _always_ want the Blue Falcon. But, he's the exception, not the rule. I mean... it's the Blue Mother Fucking Falcon. He's _always_ been the exception and not the rule.

But, none of my other, previous, side relationships mean anything to me anymore, and I have no plans to seek out anything else in the near future.

I'm happy where I am.

--

Okay, okay! YES! I'm still crushing on that one fixation! But I don't know if that counts or not since I'll never be able to confess or act on my crush. I think that point is pretty moot. Plus, that crush has nothing to do with anything being missing from 'my' life. It's knowing what's missing from my crush's life.

So, still happy!

*pout* stop judging me...

- Writing – Nothing new to report.

- Reading – So, I finished chapter 6, and dammit, I'm still on the fucking fence over whether or not I like this story. It has nothing at all paranormal behind it. It's just blah blah human human drama. But, the conflict is pretty original from what I've read in erotic romance so far. So, I'm still kinda sorta half in half out and I'm not sure if I'll give up but I’m not sure if I'll finish either.

I guess we'll just have to see.

- Yarn Therapy – Man, I must have been dealing with some serious mental exhaustion last night because I only made it two buttonholes in before everything quit on me. And my goal for today is to make it all the way to the two-at-a-time? Yeah, we'll see how that works out.

- Sleep / Fitbit – 5 hours 55 minutes, 5x awake, 14x restless, 40 minutes awake/restless. I seem to be naturally waking up around 8am now. Despite the lateness of bedtimes. It makes for a pretty tired day, but I still feel better about getting started early. Now if I can just work things around so that I'm going to BED earlier... then maybe I'll really have something here.

- Fur-babies – Wow, Dreamy needed the love last night. He wanted to cuddle all up in my business. Total obstruction from my laptop and where I needed to mark off my stitch counts. He also became fascinated with the beaded stitch maker I had between the sides of my leg warmer. I hate to admit it, but I was kinda happy when he went home. But, then I was back to 'mentally exhausted' and I got no more done on the leg warmer anyway.

*humph!*

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Blood Sugar – Since I can't seem to stop needing something in my tummy in the middle of the night, (and thus my mornings are not fasting) it's about time I adjusted to just testing an hour after a meal. True breakfast is probably the most logical time. So, not coffee. But real breakfast.

- INR – 2.5! Can't get any more fucking perfect than that!

- Inflammation – Yesterday was my yearly physical and I did have a chance to discuss my inflammation with my Primary Care Physician. She said the causes of inflammation are too profoundly varied for there to be an exact medical science on them. Which made sense. I did tell her about Turmeric and Paleo, as well as other anti-inflammatory methods I know. She advised me to continue with those.

I also told her about my concern with exercise, and why I was upset that there was no exact medical science on whole body inflammation, because I really wanted to consult a damn physician about how to overcome that particular hurdle.

She ended up agreeing 100% with my weight loss doctor and told me Pool Therapy is the way to go.

So, we're going to push forward there.

- Exercise/Yoga - See Above; RE: Pool Therapy.

- Weight Management – Even though it seems like I've been Yo-Yo'ing around the same unhealthy weight for quite some time, my doctor took a look at my history and over the longer time span my weight has been coming consistently down. So, improvements ARE being made!! We just need to keep pushing harder to make it stick all the way down to that fucking goal weight.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – Well, it's really no secret that somebody fucking loves me. But when he comes home with Salted Caramel Oreo Thins, Sushi, AND a bacon cheeseburger... YEAH!

SHUT UP!

I know none of that was helping with my calorie intake or my weight loss.

I didn't feel like cooking last night, jeez.

- The Unicorn – Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon - Nothing new to report.

- Sweeties -

Nothing new to report.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

 - Pathfinder - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

Nothing new to report.

End Notes:  

So, now I have to get wax out of a champagne glass because I forgot that I had a proper candle holder.

LOL.

Woops.