Mmmmm... Peppermint Pucks...

Bran and I did step one of the thing last night. It was a pretty simple process that got both of us out of the house for a little bit. Normally he just takes off on his own to handle things that he needs to be handled and sometimes he'll pick up some groceries or dinner type foods while he's out, so it was nice to spend some time with him outside of the bedroom.

Monday I'll go on my own to complete step two of the thing. This is the step of the thing that has me off on my own and around people I don't know and possibly asking questions and definitely not knowing what the fuck I'm doing.

The worst part about Monday is that I know Bran will ask me at least one question when I get home. He will ask me if I asked something while I was doing the thing, and of course I'll say no because I had zero clue that such a question even needed to be asked. This is the exact reason that I wish he wouldn't send me off to do things on my own. He has probing questions. I'm not him. I have no idea which of his probing questions need to be asked, so I always feel like a failure with a half completed task.

Meh... anyway...

After the thing, Bran took me to The Drooling Moose!

This is a chocolate shoppe with FREE SAMPLES!! I only tried a few things because most of what was there had peanut butter in it. I liked the Peppermint Pucks the best. They're basically a fancier/more expensive version of a peppermint patty. Nothing special, but I did like them.

Mmmmm... Peppermint Pucks...

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Therapy – I talked to Bran about my fixation last night. I felt it was time that he knew what I was struggling with since any shred of my giving into said fixation would definitely directly threaten our relationship.  

He's already aware of who this fixation is regarding. I've brought this person to his attention before. I just hadn't told him how deeply this fixation had developed, yet. Not until last night.

He took it really well. Once he heard my logic vs. emotion debate, as well as my reasons for the fixation itself, he completely supported me. He said the fixation itself was me giving in to my base instincts of being a caring person in general, and once he said that it made total sense. Both to me, and to him.

He agrees that I should stay away and that the logic part of the internal conflict is sound.

However, I asked him to help distract my emotional mind, so it didn't fixate so fucking much, and I think he missed the message there entirely.  

I was asking for more time and love with him to help me ignore my fixation and he basically told me to just keep knitting or take up gaming again.

Not helping.

So... if things continue to worsen, I'll reiterate my needs and hopefully get some more time with him to help get my mind off the fixation...  

Hopefully...  

- Writing – Nothing new to report.

- Reading - Nothing new to report.

- Yarn Therapy – I’m one row away from completing the first set of pattern increases. So far I fucking hate how they're laying out, but since they're all the way at the top and at the back, I'm the only one who's going to notice how imperfect they are. Not pretty. *pout*

After I finish the next row I'm going to try it on. Chances are I'm still going to need increase some, but not enough to put in two whole sets of pattern on each side again... so, I’m not sure how that's all going to work out yet...

I just want it to stabilize soon so I can get started on the other one and then move on to the two-at-a-time... once I'm there, the process becomes rather easy and close to mindless in it's meditative state.

This means I can go back to finishing the embellishments on Misha's leg warmers and infinity scarf during the more alert hours of the morning, and still have something productive to do when I'm just relaxing.

Bran also wants to take me yarn shopping soon. Just some inexpensive stuff like the Red Heart Yarn. Enough to match the one skein each that I have of the variegated blue and the pink camo's, so I have enough to make leg warmers out of them. I also want to get two skeins of the 'Bon Bon' variegated so I can make some cute leg warmers with the skein of turquois that I have on hand. Those will have a quaint waffle pattern and I want to embellish them with a couple cute little snowflakes at the ankles.

I know, I know... I think about this shit way too much.

- Sleep / Fitbit – 7 hours 38 minutes, 2x awake, 17x restless, 39 minutes awake/restless. Meh, nothing earth shattering there.

- Fur-babies – I have to admit, as much as it pains me, I really fucking hate Splotches in comparison to Dreamy. He gets bored so fast and then he just yowls and begs for nothing because he doesn't know what he wants, but he knows he doesn't have it.  

Dreamy is just so damn mellow. He comes up and gets his hello pets. Then he just lays down and takes his nap. If he's awake and you pet him, or get too close with your face, he'll give you some hella-rough kitty kisses. He's just so sweet. Just a big orange puddin' belly.

Splotches, though... fuck.

So... yeah... I had both last night, but then Catmom came to pick up Splotches and I got some alone time with Dreamy. Unfortunately his nap was cut short because Bran and I had to leave to do the thing. I'm sure I'll see him tonight, though.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran - Even with my tummy feeling a little over sugared from the visit to the Drooling Moose, I was still a bit hungry and I didn't feel like coming home to nearly a week old chili. Don't get me wrong, my chili is awesome. I love my chili. I was just in the mood for something else.

We ended up settling on Taco Bell. I grabbed two chicken soft tacos and spooged each of them with a single packet of Diablo sauce. It was pretty good. Just the right amount of kick. Bran and I ate together and it was really nice. Someday soon I would like to have a meal at an actual sit down restaurant, but I can be pretty patient about waiting for that to happen.

After dinner Bran had to run off again to take care of some things. I think he had to have his laptop looked at or something. This gave me some downtime to watch a bad movie. I have a stack of movies to get through before my Showtime trial expires. I got about 20 minutes into a few of them before deciding they were trash and I moved on, so I cut through a lot of the movies that way. I got a little further in the knitting too.

Bran came home bearing gifts of cookies! Then we settled on a movie to watch together. Some weird shit by Stephen King about a zombie apocalypse brought on by cell phone signals. That's it... no real rhyme or reason. No mystery solved. Just conflict with absolutely no resolution. I was pretty disappointed to be honest. Plus there was the ick factor of realizing that Dollhouse ripped off some of their shit from King.

I mean, really Joss? Really?

While we finished the movie I used up the last of my Caprese sausages in a 3-egg scramble. I have to eat that super slow because the sausage is really rich, but it's the best night night dinner I've had in a while. Not all the way Paleo because of the little bit of mozzarella in the sausages, but still pretty darn Paleo-friendly.

I need to eat something pretty close to bedtime or I wake up hungry in the middle of sleepy time and that's just never good. Hunger only leads to complete and total lack of sleep. However, I still need at least an hour to digest or I get this really weird reflux thing where I wake up choking on my own vomit. Yeah, sorry about that, I know It's TMI.  

I'd had enough time to digest, but Bran still needed just a little more downtime before bed. We ended up watching the first episode of one of Gordon Ramsey's newest cooking shows. It was good... but... I like his other shows better, I think.

Then it was the curl up and bedtime... and the wake up and snuggles.

All in all, total happiness.  :)

Today had been a bit frustrating, though. I'm in 'get shit done' mode (including finishing this fucking blog entry some time this century), and he's in 'interrupt at every turn' mode. He keeps wanting to show me stuff, talk about stuff, do stuff...  

Argh!

And I try SO HARD to just shut the fuck up and not be a bitch about it, but I think it's pretty clear that my 'annoyed' is bleeding through.

So, I need to knock it the fuck off again and ratchet back the 'bitch mode' before I end up saying or doing something I regret.

Fuck!

Some days I have such a short fuse.

- The Unicorn - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon – And this is another reason why I want to get shit done in a bit more of a timely manner today. The Blue Falcon is going to stream the sequel to the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra at around 6 pm and I want to have my main stuff out of the way so I can log in and enjoy that.

Tomorrow is Movie Night too.

Euphemistic cuddles anyone?

- Sweeties -

Nothing new to report.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

 - Pathfinder - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

Nothing new to report.

End Notes:  

So... bitch mode, huh?

Hopefully I can figure out a way to smooth that out.

--

Update: I just went to finish up the last of the dish washing and in the process the pan/lid I use to cook burgers in became clean. So, I offered to cook Bran some lunch.

All smooth now.  :)