It's a favorite for all.

I'm going to be making chili today. :)

I kinda have this way of doing it where it only takes about an hour, but both Bran and the Unicorn love the fuck out of my chili, so it's a real treat to make it for them.

I’m accustomed to the Unicorn loving the fuck out of my cooking, but it's such a rare thing with Bran. Most of the time he stays away from my home cooked food. That used to really bother me a lot. I didn't feel insulted, but I did feel rejected. It took me a long time to come to grips with the fact that Bran has a really sensitive tummy and I over spice my cooking a bit. It will TASTE just fine to him, but it will fuck him up for hours if he eats it. So, I try to back off on the spices, but sometimes I still forget.

Mostly I just get used to him not eating my cooking because I can't have things bland as shit for the Unicorn and me. So, it's cool.

Today is chili, though!

It's a favorite for all.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Therapy – Yes, I’m still fixating, but I think it's okay. I always tend to fixate a little bit.  

Last time Friday checked in I didn't stop thinking about him for like two weeks, and I've never even met him in person yet.  

Then there was the massive crush I had on a medical professional after he got me through a really scary procedure without triggering a single second of panic.  

So, I'm starting to realize that this is just the way my mind works. It needs a sexual fantasy to cling to for some strange reason and sometimes it will fixate on a living person (instead of a fictional character). It's how I choose to not act on that fixation that's the key to my survival.

Read As: I back the fuck off from communicating with the unhealthy fixations. I just let them go.

This current fixation is no different. I'm backing off and I'm gaining some distance and some perspective. Eventually it with fade before it attaches to someone else and I'll move on.

- Writing – Nothing new to report.

- Reading - Nothing new to report.

- Yarn Therapy – I spent forever fixing my pattern last night, somehow I'd screwed it up a little bit, but at least I caught it before I started in on it.  

This morning I started in on the button holes.  

Ugh... what a horror to try to keep track of it all. The last time I put the button holes in I lost six stitches (an entire inch of fabric) and fucked the whole thing up. I had to rip and restart. What a mess!

However, the button holes are kinda hard to see once they're in, so I'm indicating them with a stitch marker. But, then that takes out the counting stitch markers to make sure I'm not losing any stitches.

Luckily some inspired wisdom kicked in and I'm using a very different type of stitch marker for the counting...  

I think this should solve any problems.

I won't know for a few more rows yet, though. So, wish me luck!!

- Sleep / Fitbit – 6 hours 32 minutes, 6x awake, 22x restless, 73 minutes awake/restless - fuck me! Rough night! I guess the food poisoning was still in my system.

- Fur-babies – I had a Dreamy and a Splotches last night, but unfortunately they left right before the Unicorn got here.  

I'm not sure what was up with Dreamy, but he wanted to nap really close to me instead of down at the foot of the bed. Which was fine by me, but I still had to move some stuff out of the way and guard my yarn. He's a good boy. Total puddin' belly. I love him so much.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Inflammation – After the cheese incident last night I think it's time to drop the gooey, melty goodness from my diet. Buying it in bulk is no longer cost effective if I can't eat it before it goes bad anyway. There is a plant based / Paleo-friendly cheese alternative out there, but it's expensive!! We're going to try to find that in bulk, though. Just more for a slightly cheaper price.  

It won't make my egg scrambles the same, but it will be healthier for me in the long run.

Sacrifices need to be made.

- Weight Management – The knitting is really helping with my calorie intake. Right now I'm only eating about twice a day and it's not very much at that.  

I still get ravenously hungry!!

However, the knitting helps ignore the hunger a little better.

I get weighed next week, so... fingers crossed.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – OMG... where do I even start?

Last night when I was dealing with the food poisoning, he had already gone to bed (sorta). He was super sleepy, but still scrolling through a little wind-down social media. But, once it became clear that I was truly not okay, he stayed up with me. As tired as he was, he refused to sleep until he knew I was going to be alright.

He's my happy place.

I'm so blessed.

- The Unicorn – So, I'm worried here.

The Unicorn and SchmuckDad are both exhibiting strange symptoms, and like the idiot he is, SchmuckDad hasn't seen a doctor about it, nor has he researched the healthy way to compensate for their symptoms.

For some fucked up and completely unknown reason, their cheeks are puffing up when they eat animal. Puffing up like an allergic reaction, and it's happening with both beef and chicken. The Unicorn says they haven't tested fish yet. I tried her on eggs last night and she can tolerate those just fine.

Again, no medical professional has been consulted about these symptoms.

Instead, they've literally just cut meat out of their diet.

With ZERO compensation for protein or vitamin loss.

What.

The.  

Actual.

Fuck?

When I make Chili today I’m also going to make the Unicorn my lentils and tomato sauce.  

I have a fuck-ton of lentils in my pantry and I can no longer eat them because lentils are one of the primary no-no's of a Paleo-friendly diet.

If she likes the lentils, I'll send my stock home with her and send SchmuckDad the recipe.

I've emailed him about this, but so far there's been no response.

Naturally I don't expect him to listen to a shred of my advice on this matter, but I hope that if I send the Unicorn home with ingredients and a Yummy Nom recipe, he'll at least do it for her.

One can hope.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon - Nothing new to report.

- Sweeties -

Nothing new to report.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

 - Pathfinder - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

Nothing new to report.

End Notes:  

I tried to fit this entry in before everyone woke up, but no such luck... so, I'm just going to wrap up here.  

I've got chili to make anyway!