Thank You for the Reminder:

I survived it.

I got through the 3rd without Bran.

The Blue Falcon came and gave me some naked snuggles. Not as much as I would have liked. He ended up double committed with having to provide transport for someone. The alternative is that the other person would have been out $25 worth of Uber and I just couldn't justify anyone spending that kind of money because of me. So, we only got about an hour and a half together.

Bran called during the early half of that too. Just as I was telling the Blue Falcon the story of what yesterday's anniversary was really celebrating. I wrapped up with Bran after a few minutes. I didn't hurry off the phone with him at all. We made sure we got our time in.

Then I went back to telling that story.

Yesterday's anniversary wasn't celebrating a wedding, a commitment date, or even a date of consummation of the relationship.

Yesterday's anniversary was actually celebrating mine and Bran's very first in-person meeting. Exactly 3.5 days after we began chatting online and over the phone. That was record speed for a fast first date for me back then and we both agree that it would have actually happened the first night we started talking if either of us would have had access to a vehicle. But, as it stood, 3.5 days was when it happened.

I even tried to play it cool and meet in a public place… LOL

Yeah, that didn't last.

I was naked on his couch within an hour of first contact.

Over the course of that day we were in 8 different positions across 4 rooms and went 5 full rounds of romping before we were forced to stop because our time was up…

… and both of us just 'knew'.

We knew we were meant to be together.

That's what yesterday was celebrating.

That's what telling that story reminded me of.

Suddenly all the drama of 2016 didn't matter anymore. The mistakes he made didn't matter anymore. None of it mattered anymore.

We belong together.

We both allowed something/someone to take that away from us.

No.

We can't allow anything/anyone to take that away from us ever again.

--

Okay, so, since that was a long opener, I'm going to go easy and make this quick today:

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - Due to some conflicts on my end (nothing that can't be solved), Valkyrie and I ended up on the phone briefly yesterday… she confirmed something I'd suspected for a few weeks regarding the writing.

 - Writing - The story is still moving too fast. There are a lot of things that I missed and I was still going over my words for the first act.

There's no choice.

I have to go back. Like a good pattern on a pair of leg warmers that just isn't working out because it's too tight. I have to rip it and restart it again with more leg room.

It's going to be a LOT of work and it's going to involve me pulling whole chapters off Scribophile and restructuring them. So, I’m going to need a lot of karma to pull this off.

*sigh*

It will be worth it, though.

I know it's worth it to tell the story right the first time. The right things need to be foreshadowed. The right level of drama needs to happen in the first act. I need to make this story as rich and as detail heavy as it needs to be.

It's still weird.

I've never written anything where beta readers were demanding it be longer. But, it is what it is. It still needs more. So, we're looking at the final product being somewhere in the 150K range…

That's going to be one THICK ass book!

 - Sleep / Fitbit - My sleep was SO fucked last night… Plus the fitbit is taking in the time that I was camped on the couch and dozing too. So. 11 hours, 45 minutes, 10 times awake, 16 times restless, 58 minutes awake/restless.

FUCK.

Let's just hope for better tonight.

 - Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Caffeine - It's going to be 4 today.

 - Blood Sugar - Skipped it.

 - INR - Test tomorrow.

 - Nervous System - Adjustment tomorrow.

 - Inflammation - Nothing new to report

 - Weight Management - Appetite seems to finally be in a healthy range.

The Blue Falcon is REALLY worried about my overall health right now. He's pushing me to re-establish my exercise goals. I will. I'm not there yet. I need to finish chapter's 10 and 11 first… once they're done and I’m ready to go back and re-start the writing AGAIN, I'll start making time to exercise again too.

I know he's right.

He's even going to buy me my calcium supplement since my insurance stopped covering mine.

He's a sweetie.

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - You already pretty much know this.

He'll come home.

We'll start over.

It will be good.

I know it will be challenging at times.

But, I also know it will be good.

 - The Unicorn - We're coming up on a Unicorn weekend. The Blue Falcon is coming to spend some time with her again. We're going to let her choose what she wants to do. It's tough, though. A lot of his suggestions are things that involve a lot of physical activity and I'm not able to keep up. This is one of the reasons he wants me to exercise more.

The other reason it's hard for me to keep up is that I’m on blood thinners. So, I get light headed easily.

*sigh*

Not much I can do about that.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bio's there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]

 - Recent Encounters - See Below, RE: Blue Falcon

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - I'm skipping the usual break down because it was such a short visit.

One thing that happened that was super sweet though, and that I had a chance to tell Bran about later. While I was cuddled up to the Blue Falcon and on the phone with Bran, the Blue Falcon REALLY wanted to say to Bran "But I'm not here to replace you!" -  LOL  - Which he didn't need to do. I’m pretty sure Bran trusts me and he trusts him. But, it was still very sweet of him to be concerned. The only reason he didn't say it is because he thought it would be awkward. So, I said it for him when I talked to Bran later.

I don't know if Bran needed to hear it or not, but I know he appreciated it.

 - Rain - I really need to text him. It's been a couple of days.

Or not.

My last two messages to him went ignored. So, I guess he must be busy. I better not bug him.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - Nothing new to report.

 - The Hopefuls -

  --  Friday  -- I think about him all the time.

He really resents his girlfriend for getting in the way of our first meeting. And it's starting to look like every other Friday is our best date to meet, so we're pushed all the way out to my next non-Unicorn weekend.

I can feel how much this has frustrated him. He's openly told me how much he really resents his girlfriend for this and I don't blame him one bit. Rules on open relationships not withstanding, it's not fair for her to get to go out and play and then prevent him from doing the same thing.

In other Friday related…

He and I continue to communicate about our unique bond. He tells me that he felt it with me from the moment we first started chatting. I know he's not wrong. I felt it too. I knew there was something. It just became really clear on exactly what that something was when he told me just how rough he can be sexually.

I need that.

I need someone who can hold me down and mean it.

He doesn't have any trouble finding women who can be that level of submissive with him, but he's in dire need of a Cougar. So, finding out that I'm not only a) perfect Cougar material, but b) I seek someone with precisely his qualifications both in and out of the bedroom.

UUGGHHH!!

It's just so FUCKING frustrating that we have to WAIT!

I don't care though.

We both need this, and we're both taking it.

I know exactly what we are to each other and it won't ever threaten our primary relationships. We have nothing but positive reinforcement to gain by being together and every shred of our mutual sanity to lose if we're kept apart.

I can't wait to give you the sweetie report on his first encounter with me.

 - Honorable Mentions - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Former Sweeties:

 - Jasper - Overnight in two days… we'll see how it goes.

End Notes:

I’m really glad that the Blue Falcon was able to come over last night. Even if it was only for a short time, it was still exactly what I needed.

I needed to be reminded of what I really had/have with Bran.

I needed to remember what it was/is that I'm really still fighting for.

Now I just need for Bran to come the fuck home so we can finally start the fuck over again.