Mental Health / Unfuck
Yourself:
- Therapy - I
had a shopping trip yesterday, so the writing got cut short and after that I
was pretty much burnt out. So I gamed for 6 hours. Most of that just working on
Samarra for her Relic quest. I was fortunate that a kind guildie helped me out
for a lot of it.
- Writing - I've
started to post the re-updated chapters into a new Google Drive file. Not that
I expect anyone to read them anymore. But, you never know. The new chapter five
seems light, but I need those words to tack on the extra chapters I'm going to
need at the end of the first act.
I'm sure it will all
work out.
I'm hoping this will
be the last time that I'll have to rip and re-start act 1.
- Sleep /
Fitbit - Better than expected. 7 hours, 44 minutes, 1x awake, 11x
restless, total of 18 minutes awake/restless… Hopefully I'll be able to
continue making these reports. The band on my fitbit is breaking. Nick says he
ordered me some replacements. But, I don't know if he actually ordered them or
if he just talked about ordering them.
- Fur-babies - One
visit from Dreamy yesterday. He didn't request snuggles. But he did rest in his
chair.
Physical Health / Unfuck
Yourself:
- Caffeine - I'm
having one of those days where I really want 4, just because.
- Blood Sugar -
126 - not terrible, but not great either.
- Exercise/Yoga
- I'm processing a pretty serious case of the 'dun wanna's' today…
Hopefully I can fight them off enough to get the exercise in anyway.
- Weight
Management - I bought Alfredo sauce… I can't decide if that's a good or
bad thing.
Relationships / Family:
This thing that he
did with _her_ and the kids… It sucked for me. Really bad. Considering how
close she came to ending him and I as an 'us'. The reality that he was living
with her and playing good little house husband and daddy to her abominations.
That was hard on me in ways I don't really have the words to express.
That was the life he
fought me for. That was the life he was willing to sacrifice me for.
That's the life he's
been living for over six months now.
He got his wish.
He got me out of the
picture and he got to play dad again.
And he hates it with
the blinding passion of a thousand suns.
He misses me so much
he even misses my uncomfortably (to him) too soft bed because lying in that bed
means lying next to me.
I would have been
fully within my rights (especially with the six months that I've had) to decide
that I'm better off without him. I could have closed my boarders and decided
not to welcome him home. I could have decided to take away everything and leave
him rotting in the hell that he's created for himself.
But, I didn't.
I recognize that
this was an experience that he needed to have.
He needed to learn
for himself that it was the life he didn't really want. He had to find out for
himself that the fantasy was way better than the reality. He had to grow from
the mistake, and he has.
I've experienced a
lot of growth during the last six months too.
So, now we can move
forward with our relationship having a much stronger appreciation for each
other. And I think that's a good thing.
I really think we
needed that.
We needed to be
broken so that we could be remade.
Didn't make it suck any less.
- The Unicorn -
Nothing new to report.
Relationships / Sweeties:
[ If you're a reader and having
trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and
below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bio's there. - this is a
work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed,
don't worry, I'll get to you. ]
- Recent
Encounters - Nothing new to report.
- Updates on
Favorites -
- Rain - I
hate to do it… but I think it's time that I took him out of the update. I
haven't heard a word out of him in weeks. This SUCKS.
I've lost my ONLY
Supernatural Snuggle Buddy…
Dammit!
Relationships / Potentials
and Honorable Mentions:
- The One
Timers - Nothing new to report.
- The Hopefuls
-
-- Friday
-- Nothing new here either… but I’m not worried… I know he's
probably going through a rough time with both girlfriends and I'll hear from
him when I hear from him.
- Honorable
Mentions - Nothing new to report.
Relationships / Former
Sweeties:
- Jasper -
Nothing new to report.
End Notes:
So, all in all a
fairly light update today.
I'm still in a
really good place emotionally. I still feel lucky to have the support systems
that I do have. I'm sorry for the once that seem to be MIA right now.
I'm sure it will all
work out.
Maybe the MIA's are
just another sign that the separation trauma is coming to an end soon?
That would really be
the best thing.
No comments:
Post a Comment