Friday, April 28, 2017

When to walk away?

Friday is really beginning to concern me.

I've not heard from him since last Saturday, and yet OKC will show me when he's been online. I'm really starting to worry that I've been cat fished again. He did seem awfully perfect for my needs and he hasn't taken our conversation off OKC no matter how many times I've asked/begged him to.

*sigh*

I would have been comfortable giving up on men because it sounded like Bran was coming home and like Friday would have been perfect for me. But, now it appears that neither of those things are true anymore.

So, what now?

I get really bored and lonely at night.

I just don't want to be a one night stand anymore.

But, I would love some company.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - My phone has finally been turned back on. So, I'll be able to see Valkyrie and Bubbles next week if Bubbles has an opening. I should be making that appointment today.

I’m starting to get a little bored with the game therapy. A lot of it is grinding right now, so I might look into ways to game a little more or differently to keep it interesting.

 - Writing - I wrote that seriously trope kiss in the rain scene yesterday. My one worry is that it's not 'foreshadowing' Jessa trusting Daniel, but more that it's going to make the actual sex scene repetitive. *grump* I guess I'll have to rely on crit feedback on that one.

Other than that, I think the scene played out well. I'm also a bit worried that Jessa's comfort level was out of character for her, but I think I can rely on crit feedback for that too. The scene may or may not be working. I guess we'll have to see.

 - Sleep / Fitbit - Hopefully I get my replacement bands today and game time will no longer be recorded as sleep time!

 - Fur-babies - Visit's from both Dreamy and Splotches yesterday. Both got cuddles too. I love Dreamy so much and he just loves me right back. I just love it when he relaxes in my arms.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Caffeine - Should be fine with 3 today.

 - Blood Sugar - 123 today, so that's much better. Way more stable in the normal'ish range, so I’m happy about that.

 - INR - Expect an update…
 - Nervous System -  … next week.

 - Inflammation - It feels like I’m carrying a ton of tension in my shoulders, but I know I'm not. I know it's the inflammation. *sigh* I think I should raise the dose of my anti-inflammatory supplement for a bit. Just to see if I can get it to go down.

 - Exercise/Yoga - This, I will get back to tomorrow. Then I will be done bleeding and hopefully there will be no more fatigue or cramping. Jeez… fucking hate my blood moon.

 - Weight Management - I actually only ate twice yesterday. My standard breakfast of a cheesy, scrambled egg sandwich and then a dinner of one serving of chicken and dumplings.

Granted I also ate one and a half king size candy bars too.  :/

I was in that blood moon *MUST HAVE CHOCOLATE* phase.

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - Every day it starts to sound more and more like he's going to have to leverage her and the kids to secure a place to live.

Fuck.

I hate her so much.

I hate this so much.

I just wish he'd come home and be done with her already.

 - The Unicorn - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bio's there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]

 - Recent Encounters - Nothing new to report.

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - It was so lovely to see him yesterday, and it was on the very tip of my tongue to tell him that I love him, but I held back for some reason.

He wasn't up for hanging out because he'd just given blood and he was wiped. He desperately needed to just go home and go to bed, but he was there for me.

I got my hair cut. It's a bit shorter in back than I prefer, but it's fine. It will grow out. It's a bit longer on top than I like, but it's fine, I can get it trimmed once the back is where I want it.

It will all work out eventually.

The Blue Falcon also swung me over for a quick trip to the grocery store. (hence chocolate).

LOL, the best part though? We discussed the Unicorn getting her period, as well as me experiencing a painful cramp when I was right next to him. The idea of blood didn't even phase him one little bit. All he said was: "I've heard sex can help with that, and I just gave blood, so I'm not at my best, but I'm willing to take one for the team."

To which I replied: "Correction, orgasms help with cramps."

"Oh, well you're fucked then."

We both laugh.

He also told me that he didn't pick up on any manipulation from JerkDad when we went out, but he DID sense a little autism there! Interesting!

It would be very interesting to find out if JerkDad himself isn't as perfect as he claims to be.

Anyway, the Blue Falcon got me home safely and I went back to grinding on my video games.

We're probably going to see each other again on Monday.

I think that should be a popcorn and movie date.  :)

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - Nothing new to report.

 - The Hopefuls -


--  Friday  -- I keep checking and rechecking. Waiting and hoping for a message from him, and nothing.

So, how long do I hold out on this one?

When is the right time to give up, call him a cat fish and walk away?

When do I realize that he was too perfect and that should have been my first, and biggest, red flag of all?

 - Honorable Mentions - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Former Sweeties:

 - Jasper - Nothing new to report.

End Notes:

And if I do walk away from Friday… do I resume my search?

Do I keep trying to find that one guy who can pin me the hell down and fuck me so hard I forget how to spell my own name? Do I keep trying to find the one guy who can give me the thing that Jasper only gave me a taste of?

Is that guy even out there?

He must be, right?


*sigh*

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