... give me a couple of noodles and send me off on my own to the deep end...

Yesterday's Magic Hippo Dance was fucking amazing. My trainer worked me so hard.  

I'm not calling her a 'Therapist', this isn't really therapy. They're not treating me for an injury or anything like that. They're giving me a way to annihilate the holy mother fuck out of a condition before it becomes a problem.  

They're giving me a way to exercise without triggering the inflammation.   

Strength, endurance, flexibility... weight loss, and reducing the impact of my diabetes and high blood pressure... all these are the benefits of me finally having a better outlet to move my body and get healthier.

I feel awesome today. So far I can't even tell if I'm sore anywhere, so she actually could have worked me a bit harder.  

Right now I'm just learning the exercises and yesterday she stated introducing tools. I played with some special paddles while I was working the arm exercises. They gave me some resistance to make my arms work harder. IT WAS AWESOME!! I definitely need a pair of those when I'm done with my training and off on my own!

Now, the really hard part is maintaining balance in the water. Somehow I'm not supposed to be engaging my arms to maintain balance. I'm supposed to rely on my core, and let me tell you, it's fucking HARD AS HELL to do it!  

This week I had a really hard time staying stable/stationary while we did the leg exercises. I still had to keep one finger on the wall for a vast majority of it.  

Here's the thing, though: Last week I could barely stay stable/stationary while working the arm exercises!

Yesterday I had added resistance and I was a fucking rock! I barely lost my balance at all!!

At the end of the session my trainer will give me a couple of noodles and send me off on my own to the deep end to 'bicycle' some cardio. Last week I was flopping all over the place trying to move my ankles around in that circle instead of just pumping my knees up and down. I just couldn't maintain the leverage in my core.

Yesterday... fucking rock. Perfect bicycling.

These sessions are only once per week, and I'm still seeing marked improvement.

Fuck me!

What's going to happen when I start doing this three days a week?!

Mental Health / Self-Care:

- Therapy – Still not happy about the lack of self-care time this month and I worry about how this is going to play out moving forward. My last bastion of hope is that eventually the Magic Hippo Dance in combination with the afternoon #NapAttack's will eventually lead to increased energies. - Now, this doesn't take away from the fact that my circadian rhythm doesn't like to write after 5-7pm... So, I’m going to have to figure out how to work that in BEFORE I leave for my workout.

I’m sure it will even out...  

… it has to.

- Writing – Nothing new to report.

- Yarn Therapy - Nothing new to report.

- Sleep / Fitbit – 5 hours 13 minutes, 5x awake, 16x restless, 49 minutes awake/restless.

- Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Scanners – Over a week now with no headaches... just my fucking luck that I have my CT Scan today and start PT next Monday... I think it's over.

- Aquatic Therapy – We covered this.

- Paleo Friendly – Bran and I did some great grocery shopping last night!! We found some wonderful Paleo Caveman Bars so I have a grab-and-go snack if I really need it.  

We also found an amazing Nuts & Berries mix with nothing in it that I can't have. No added candy or sweets. It's really good too! So, now I have a Paleo Friendly nom next to my bed if my tummy gets angry with me in the middle of the night.  

Lastly I also grabbed a bulk box of Red Grapefruit cups. Those are my go-to post workout snack so I have a little bit of quick energy to get me home before a late lunch and #NapAttack.

Eventually, I WILL Need a MUCH better post workout snack. Probably a pre-workout snack too. Better hydration... everything. Not to mention protein to help my muscles repair themselves.

There's this fucking amazing, strictly Paleo protein powder that even comes in a Turmeric variety for movement support. *sigh* Expensive as hell, but it's EXACTLY what I need.

I might have an angle on how I can afford that...  

… hmmm ...

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – He's been cuddlier lately. This is a VERY GOOD fucking thing. With everything I know he knows I'm feeling for Cuddle Crush... it's just so important that he has the reassurance that he's still my Prime and he always will be. I will NOT allow this to be another Set incident. I'm not going to let myself be insanely happy with someone else and ignore the fact that Bran makes me happy too. I'm not going to take Bran for granted. I'm going to make damn fucking sure that he knows I love him, appreciate him, and NEED him. Every. Fucking. Day.

- The Unicorn - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon - Nothing new to report.

- Sweeties -

Nothing new to report.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

- Cuddle Crush -  Every day I'm more and more overcome with additional reasons why I love her. And it's not that I'm learning new things about her. They're things I already know. It's just that every day I sift through her complex pieces and parts and I keep finding more jewels to appreciate.  

And then I tell her...  

… because she needs to hear it.

She's like me. She has no inherent sense of her own self-worth. She's a fucking gorgeous, wicked butterfly who can't see her own wings. She has no fucking clue how stunningly beautiful she is, inside and out. So, you're damn fucking right I’m going to tell her. Every. Fucking. Day.

She's a miracle.

I never expected something like her to ever exist.

And I know she appreciates me too. She often uses words like Amazing, Awesome, and Adorable... lol. She seems to favor the 'A' words, but any time I've asked her for details, she refuses to give them. She wants to wait until she has me in person to tell me what it is that she sees in me.

I'm anxious to hear it.

Most days I'd give just about anything to have a few moments to just sit with her in a coffee shop, just holding her hand and talking with her.  

I wish Bran didn't work so much... I have no other way to get out to her. I might ask the Blue Falcon, but that could get awkward...  

… or, you know what... maybe not!  

Fuck that noise, I'm asking the Blue Falcon next time I see him!

- Pathfinder - Nothing new to report.

- Never Enough - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

Nothing new to report.

End Notes:  

Still not sore...

… I really think she could have worked me harder.