I don't have anything profound to open with today. Plus It's a Unicorn weekend and she also has Monday & Tuesday off from school, so we're going to pound down some serious Netflix time.
Truth is, it's getting harder and harder to come up with decent openers.
Cuddle Crush is all I think about anymore.
She's all I've thought about for months.
I need to make coffee with her happen.
I have a plan, but it's going to take a few weeks to execute. That's not a bad thing.
Yes, I'm impatient, but she's got stuff she probably needs to sort out on her end.
Yes, I'm twitterpated.
I regret nothing.
Mental Health / Self-Care:
- Therapy – Still no time for self-care. I didn't even have the energy to shower after the Magic HIppo Dance on Thursday. I took my shower yesterday. So, I slept in chlorine. Not good.
- Writing – Nothing new to report.
- Yarn Therapy - Nothing new to report.
- Sleep / Fitbit - 7 hours 9 minutes, 3x awake, 10x restless, 24 minutes awake/restless.
- Fur-babies – Dreamy didn't want to come in again last night, so I told Catmom not to force him this time. I needed my nap undisturbed anyway. Maybe we'll see him today.
Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:
- Blood Sugar – Someone please remind me to keep checking?
- Scanners – The CT Scan was yesterday, but I doubt they're going to find anything. The headaches haven't been around for a week. I mean, I have a very mild one now, but I think that's just a caffeine headache.
- Aquatic Therapy – Wait, I'm dumb... I started getting workout-sore at around 5pm'ish yesterday... yesterday was Friday and Magic Hippo Dance was Thursday... so that's about 24 hours and I got sore just after Friday #NapAttack. So, that seems exactly right! I just got confused because I expected to be sore 12 hours later and then thought that was 24 and then thought that 24 was 48 and I'm just all kinds of fucked up... what the actual fuck, brain? What the actual fuck?
- Weight Management – Bran and I picked up Paleo-Friendly snackages on Thursday – Guess what – Not hungry. As in, I eat the GOOD STUFF and my body rewards me by not being utterly ravenous all the time.
THANK YOU!!
Relationships / Family:
- Bran – We got into a bit of a discussion this morning about certain rights. It was slightly heated, but I don't think either of us were upset. Still, need to make sure there are extra cuddles later anyway.
I see where he's coming from. He actually reads the entire thingy-ma-gigy when a law is trying to get passed, so he understands all the underlying reasons for that law and he's also fully aware of the legal precedents for what the law is trying to prevent in the future.
Short version. Bran knows shit that I don't. I tend to fly off by what I read on Facebook, and I should really listen to him more instead of arguing. So, I'm going to rectify that later.
My main concern was the safety of a loved one... which could have also been a sore spot for Bran. So, yeah, extra cuddles necessary.
- The Unicorn – Oh My Fucking God! My daughter is one of the most special people on the planet. She's just so fucking amazing. We had our usual 'long Friday talk' where we caught each other up on everything.
I told her all about Cuddle Crush and she's really happy that I'm happy.
We talked about the recent societal push for Christian Prayer in public schools, to which she responded exactly as I'd expected she would. She even told me that even though she goes to a Christian church with her father, she will tell people to back the fuck up off her if they try to get all bible thumpy.
She's not rude!! But, she DOES explain that "My mom isn't Christian. She raised me with her beliefs and I still /mostly/ follow my mom's beliefs." -- this is all true. I'm Luciferian, so I believe that we're all individually responsible for our own beliefs. I educated her on religious tolerance. I trained her as a Medium. I introduced her to her own sense of divinity and told her as much as I could about all the old gods. The rest she did all on her own.
Last night she told me she 'spin dances' - I'm talking straight up 'Gnostic Spinning' here. I'm sorry that I have no direct reference to support Gnositic Spinning. I read about it a very long time ago and trying to research it on the internet isn't providing me with much. But, the basis of it was 'spinning would make you loopy and you'd receive Gnosis'.
That's what she does.
This is NOT the first time she's done straight up Apocrypha level shit on pure instinct. She can fucking see the cords connecting people. She can literally SEE THE CORDS. They're as plain to her as day.
ANYWAY!!
I told her that if any laws get passed for prayer in school I'm sending her in with a leather bound copy of the Necronomicon. I'll train her to be a Cthulhu Cthultist.
Fucking take that, Assholes.
She'll lead a prayer and fucking summon Old Ones on your whiney snowflake asses.
And don't think for a second she wouldn't do it either.
Relationships / Sweeties:
- Updates on Favorites -
- Blue Falcon – Sneaky but true, the Blue Falcon might be my angle for coffee with Cuddle Crush. I'm nervous about asking him outright... that whole 'anxiety over asking for help' thing... but I know how to lead a conversation. If he really WANTS to do it, he'll offer and then I’m guilt free.
- Sweeties -
Ugh... difficult conversation incoming...
- AmbiguSweeties -
- Cuddle Crush - I have no words for what this beautiful woman does to me.
As much as I trust her with my heart and soul, my BPD keeps kicking in and I keep getting all insecure about shit. Every time she doesn't respond to messages, I start freaking out and thinking she doesn't really love me, or that she's ignoring me... and, gah, what the actual fuck, brain?
Leave me the hell alone.
Please.
I really need to figure out some sort of CBT to reassure myself that she's still with me and that she hasn't abandoned me.
Like, I should break out some serious witch-fu and charge a crystal/stone for this...
… that sounds like a good plan.
- Pathfinder – Nothing new to report.
- Never Enough – I've been feeding his perverted mind with images of me and Cuddle Crush, lol. Poor kid needs some stumuli.
Relationships / Just Friends:
Nothing new to report.
End Notes:
That's it.
I got nothin' else and my track pad has suddenly decided to get all glitchy.
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