I mean, yeah... I lose sleep...

It's going to be a pretty short entry overall today. I'm tired as fuck and my time is limited.  

I probably mentioned that the night before last I didn't get to bed until after 2am...  

Right... so, last night was heading in the same direction and I was starting to get really fucking annoyed. I need my sleep, dammit.

Then... a bad thing... and I was needed. More as a moral support than anything, there was absolutely nothing I could do about the bad thing.

But, if we weren't already awake when the bad thing hit. We wouldn't have known about it.

Hello bones of the universe. My you look lovely today.

That's just the kind of bitch slap I needed to remind me that Bran is worth it for a reason. That I’m with him for a reason. That I support him for a reason and that I'm there for him for a reason.

I mean, yeah... I lose sleep.

I lose a lot of fucking sleep over Bran, let's be perfectly fucking clear on this.

He's worth it.

Mental Health / Self-Care:

- Therapy – Right, so... you know we didn't talk about anything other than Cuddle Crush, right?

Valkyrie is really the only person I can sort out my complex emotions with, so it's a necessity right now. I can't bombard Bran with this. I know he has his own insecurities. I don't want to repeat past mistakes.

I told her about where I am with Claimed. She's agreeing that the scene I was working on sounds like a really good scene.

And then the conversation naturally transcended into these characters and their D/s relationship, and how that all echo's the way I imagine things going with Cuddle Crush and I.

I went into the ways that she and I were inexplicably attracted to each other, right from the start. I covered the way that my submissive side feels preserved/untouched, waiting for her. I went into the ways that she completes me as my Alpha, even though I'm pretty fucking Alpha myself.

Valkyrie just has this big ass fucking grin, because at this point this is all still so mysterious to me and I still can't quite figure out what the connection is. (sigh) Yeah... but Valkyrie knew.

"Fated Mates"

Godz fucking damnit.

She's fucking right, too.

It literally explains everything.

I'm the fucking main character in someone else's Paranormal Romance.

- Writing – I did get a little down yesterday while I was in Valkyries lobby. I have some lobby time again today, so I'll see what I can do.

- Yarn Therapy – Nothing new to report.

- Sleep / Fitbit – 4 hours 15 minutes, 2x awake, 6x restless, 17 minutes awake/restless.

- Fur-babies – Dreamy seems to be interested in nap time snuggles again. This is a good thing.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – He went out to no less than 3 grocery stores to get me what I needed to make it through the week. All last night. This was after a really long work day too.

Never ever let it be said that he doesn't take care of me.

- The Unicorn – She went back to JerkDad after having an extra two days with me.  

It's always so bittersweet when that happens. We get so attached when we have extra time together. It's always so amazing how we're so alike in so many ways. No one could ever doubt that she's my spawn.

I think it's hilarious.  

On the regular, she spends 4 days a month with me.

Her brain works almost exactly the same way that mine does.

JerkDad is still down in the trenches of custodial parental battle. He's still blindly winning his petty skirmishes. Making a total fool out of himself because I always let him win the petty skirmishes just so he could/can feel superior.

Mother fucker, I won that war years ago.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon – He sent up a smoke signal last night to let me know that he's at the ready for when Cuddle Crush is all set up to meet me. Told him it's going to be awhile and that he can relax.

- Sweeties -

Nothing new to report.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

- Cuddle Crush -  The rapport continues to build, and it's a beautiful fucking thing.  

It's amazing how much she and I communicate just via Facebook updates. I could tell she wasn't okay and I pinged her this morning. She's okay now.

She apologized for worrying me.

I told her she's worth an all-night panic attack because I'd rather be the kind of person who worries for her safety and mental stability than someone who could sleep soundly knowing she's not okay.

I think that made her blush.

Then I told her that it was part of my overprotective side. That I still had to be watching for whether or not I need to shank a bitch.

She laughed and said she fucking loved me.

That's what I was going for.  

- Pathfinder - Nothing new to report.

- Never Enough - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

Nothing new to report.

End Notes:  

I do miss my pod coffee maker some days.

I would like an extra cup of coffee today.