I might have unlocked something here...

Well, something's definitely different.

I’m not sure if it's a shift in some polarities, an adaptation of sorts, or just that I ate a big, protein rich dinner two nights in a row, but something's definitely up.

Yesterday I was only getting by on about 5 hours' worth of sleep. Not uncommon since Bran's been back, but also really not optimal. Yet, I had a ton of energy in the water and I really pushed myself hard. I STILL feel like I could be worked a lot harder.

Okay, but what happened after was a bit on the shocking side.

1) Not tired enough for a #NapAttack

2) Not hungry enough for lunch

What the actual fuck?

So, there I was, awake... not hungry... and yet somehow without a single creative Spoon.

Fuck.

That was annoying as hell.

I just ended up catching up on shows. Pathetic.

I did eat something. I nommed one of my Paleo Cave-Man bars and a few handfuls of my Nuts and Berries mix, but that was it. I was good until Dinner.

It still took me hours to convince myself to shower, but I managed. Then I ate another high protein rich meal.

Bran actually got us to bed at a marginally better time last night... and then, fuck me, I actually almost slept through the night. When I woke up needing more water it was only an hour before the alarm, so I just stayed in bed and went back to sleep.

That I can probably attribute to workout fatigue.  

This has me very hopeful that I might have unlocked something here. Now I need to figure out how to have the energy to make sure I eat something high protein tonight too.  

There is another thing that's different too, but I'll cover that in Cuddle Crush's section.

Mental Health / Self-Care:

- Therapy – My abandonment issues have really not reared their ugly heads since Cuddle Crush talked me down, and our conversations since then have really only strengthened our bond. I feel comfortable and safe with her. I know she's not going anywhere.

I’m still wearing my little pouch of stones, though. I want the 'anti-abandonment' and 'shut the fuck up BPD' to additionally charge the rose quartz heart I'm filling with my energy for Cuddle Crush.

I want her to feel me with her, always, when I give this to her.

- Writing – Nothing new to report.

- Yarn Therapy - Nothing new to report.

- Sleep / Fitbit – 6 hours 6 minutes, 0x awake, 8x restless, 20 minutes awake/restless - holy fuck! That's an amazing fucking night!!! I can't wait to do the Magic Hippo Dance more often!! Oh! I hope I can get to the point where I can do it every day!!

- Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Aquatic Therapy – I realize we're still establishing baselines of how much I can take... but I want MORE dammit!! MORE!!

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – I think one of the best parts of my day is when he tells me the best parts about his. (warm smile)

And also, he fucked the snot outta me last night.

- The Unicorn – She called me last night because JerkDad wasn't home yet and she needed homework help. It was fucking adorable. She had an art assignment to draw her different personalities, and she was doing just fine until she got to the one where she wanted to draw out her Kindness. She was thinking about her proclivity to befriend bullies, but she didn't want to draw a mean kid because she didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by drawing them as mean.

She didn't want to hurt anyone's [entirely fictional] feelings by drawing them as mean.

Just let that one sink in for a bit.

So I told her to draw herself trying to hand-feed a rabid wolf.

Naturally this got me another 'best mom ever' award.

LOL

I fucking rock this shit.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon - Nothing new to report.

- Sweeties -

Nothing new to report.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

- Cuddle Crush -  So, the only other major change that could have affected my sound sleep and fatigue levels is that I've recently accepted Cuddle Crush as my Fated Mate.

I want to make it clear that accepting Cuddle Crush in this way does not in any way cancel out Bran as my Soul Mate. It's just that there were extenuating circumstances around Bran being my Soul Mate... it was a course of action that was CHOSEN, not cosmically aligned.

That 'choice' didn't take away what the cosmos had planned for me, and I guess that plan has finally come into action.

It's not uncommon for one Fated Mate to make the connection first. She'll figure it out in time. And I'm glad to say that she has what she needs in terms of counterbalance. Now I just need to make sure that relationship stays stable too.

She has her Life-Mate. She's Mated. Just as I am. Just as I need her to be.

Love by proxy, that woman is now vital to my existence. I have to protect her too.

I’m doing my part.

Bit by bit.

- Pathfinder - Nothing new to report.

- Never Enough - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

- Bestie – She checked in about asking Bran and I to foster a kitty... but from the sounds of things, kitty would be staying awhile... yeah... no. My place is too small for a kitty. I get my Cat Therapy when Dreamy comes over, so I’m good.

End Notes:  

I have my sleep study consult today...

I want to write later... I think... I really want to work on this story for Cuddle Crush... I just hope I have the motivation to get some work done on it today.

I know the next level flogger I need to write about. (winx)