Nolan was good to me. :D

Yesterday was so fucking amazing on absolutely every fucking single fucking possible fucking level!

In other words: Yes, I had a good time. :D

For starters, I fucking HATE the metro transit system out in the suburbs. The harsh reality of getting stranded somewhere is SO FUCKING POSSIBLE!! OMG, you have no idea! So, over the last four years, I've developed this neat little phobia about taking the fucking bus.

Yeah huh!

But you know what happens to Alpha Sarah Anne when someone ELSE is in need? Alpha Sarah Anne will fucking take care of her people and Nolan is absolutely one of Alpha Sarah Anne’s people!! Call it what you want: Pack, Tribe, People, Family? Nolan fucking is it!

I can still definitely see Nolan and I taking it to Partner-level Platonic Poly, but we're still just getting to know each other and hanging out. It's way too soon for that tight of a bond, but we're both Borderline, so he'll totally understand why I feel that way already. Right now it's just this sort of 'omg, you're awesome, you're one of my people!' and we're just so excited as fuck to have bonded with each other.

The bond we have is very gentle and cuddly. I'm big spoon and I love holding him. He's too fucking adorable for words, omfg.

We get along so well because we just fucking 'get' each other. We share a lot of the same preferences when it comes to the type of people we'd like to date. What we find attractive. Who we have crushes on (*cough*Stasia!*cough*). And we're living in the very small, incestuous world of being in the same poly community.

Nolan is very familiar with Brodie, my date for today, and OMG, the ecstatic words Nolan had to say about TCN:Colton!! When I mentioned that TCN:Colton may Mentor me? Nolan went absolutely ape shit and told me to do it, then shared his own experience in being Mentored by TCN:Colton.

Well now... :) With an endorsement like that?

Honestly, though?

I never even had the slightest doubt about TCN:Colton. I KNOW I want to be Mentored by him. I'm just worried that he won't like me.

Anyway, it's really really really good to have Nolan as one of my people because he's been in the local poly and kink communities much longer than I have and he's able to drop some sage advice or soothing words if I'm ever feeling conflicted or unsure about someone or something.

You, know? Like a crush that has barely spoken to me since she social tasered me into a twitching mass spewing nothing but absolute word vomit. Not to mention, standing me up too.

Nolan was good to me.

I'm so mother-fucking lucky to have him in my life!

Mental Health / Self-Care:

- Spoons -  I promise I'll get to the dishes as soon as my social calendar and spoons will allow. Yes, I know the cake pan is grody. Back off.

- Writing -  See Above, RE: Social Calendar and Spoons.

Physical Health / Self-Care:

- Blood Sugar -  Super stable at normal.

- Magic Hippo Dance -   - Weight Management -  I need to pester insurance again.

Cuddles [TCN =Temporary Code Name]

 - People -

     - Nolan -  LOL, okay - so I was able to get ready in time to leave at my goal range hour. I was using Metro Transit's Trip Planner and just hoping for the best. I was so fucking ignorant of the the superiority of the Google Maps system of Metro Transit connections.

I muddled through, though.

I sent pictorial updates of each bus/train and layover stop (yes, this was a multi-adventure trip).

There was MASSIVE confusion about which side of the street to stand on when it came to the final bus! - BUT - we got it sorted and then I was just there! I was in his arms and squee-fucking-hugging the snot outta him.

We walked back to his place, socialized a tad, then I rearranged the furniture for maximum cuddle comfort.

I don't know how many episodes we got into Revenge, but we both admit that this isn't our normal type of show. Yet, it's SO FUCKING GOOD! The writing and the acting are just pure dirty little secret guilty pleasure time!

I named Nolan after Nolan Ross from the show, that's why I wanted him to see it. And I'm definitely Nolan's Emily!! So, we're even going to call each other Nolan and Emily at social functions just to confuse the fuck out of people, lol!

Eventually, we did have to quit, though.

So much hugging!!! Totally love my guy!

He got me back to the bus stop and ... I was off... more anxiety.

There was definitely a bit of a learning curve when it came to the user interface of Google Maps vs. Trip Planner, but by the 3rd bus I figured it out... and it turned out to be a LIFESAVER when I got OFF the last bus and had no fucking clue where the hell I was!!

I was only blocks away from home, but I didn't recognize the direction of any of the landmarks! Without the Google Map to help me figure out the last bit of walking, I would have gone completely the opposite direction!

And then... as I was walking home... I was like, 'you did that all by yourself, Sarah Anne.'

And I smiled.

That was the first time I didn't call someone in a panic to look at a map and navigate me home. Normally that person would have been Bran... but he's not there for me to rely on anymore. I'm not his problem anymore... I'm not his wayward web designer anymore.

And I pulled up my big Goddess panties and I got myself home.

I'm so proud of myself right now.

Nolan has no idea the level of personal growth that he's now responsible for.

I'm so happy that Nolan is one of my people!!

 - Undeclared -

     - Tristan -  I'm very happy to report that Tristan did tap in last night and he let me know that we're still on good terms. He'll chat more and probably work out a visit once he's good with the life stuff on his end. No drama, just life stuff.

Potential(s) [TCN =Temporary Code Name]

 - TCN:Colton -  Right... so, now I'm just climbing the walls even more. I can't wait to be at this mans mercy. It goes both ways, though. I fully intend to give as good as I get.

 - Brodie -  SHIT! I've got less than two hours, so I need to get this up and get in the shower and stuff!

 - TCN:Kell -  Tomorrow!!

 - Alpha-cub -  Okay, so he FINALLY took it off of CC and into something a lot less limiting. I got his email address out of him! I was finally able to comply with his request to be graphic about the details of how I imagine our date going down, and I sent him some pictures too...

... yeah, if you're on Fet, you know EXACTLY which pictures I'm talking about.

Reasons:

 - Jaded -  Okay, so... Tuesday SHE messaged ME... out of the blue. I did not do anything to provoke this. She had a sad, and it was for a very good reason.

So, I sent her boobies.

I know... oh, trust me, I know.

That could have been a very unwelcome thing.

Except it wasn't.

It seemed to snap her right out of her sad and right into 'hi sexy!'

And then she sent me ass, and all I could think about was biting that luscious hip, and I told her exactly fucking that.

Yesterday I got ass again.

And I responded exactly the same way... I gave her my unrelenting desire and appreciation for her beautiful body.

I gave it to her because she needed it.

Do you see what's happening here?

A month ago, I begged her to come to me when she needed someone, and she pushed me away so hard I still have bruises.

She just came to me twice in the same week.

She came to me...

... do you get this?...

... she came to me...

... twice...

Right now it seems as if she only needs some positive attention. Like she needs us to go back to that place where I just crushed the fuck on her and I relentlessly made her squee and blush every day.

I'm okay with that.

Trust me, I still love her enough to give her that.

It won't be all the time and every day... I'm making it clear to her that I've moved on too...

But, it truly seems as if she's grown to appreciate a bit of what she may have taken for granted.

I'm really proud of her for exhibiting that kind of growth.

End Notes:  

Dig Two Graves