We're so well matched, he and I.

The day is almost upon us.

Tomorrow, I'm his. I'll belong to him.

He's made it absolutely, crystal-fucking-clear, that he's claiming me.

It may only be temporary. It may only be for the day, or for the few hours that we're together, but that's okay. I'll still know exactly what it feels like to be in someone's grip.

Finally.

Someone is finally answering this call.

People have tried... but they've always come up short. Everyone has always lacked the follow through to make it real.

And, yeah, I know I might be jumping the gun a little bit. I haven't met Drogo (formerly TCN:Colton / that temporary name was really starting to piss me the fuck off) in person yet. So, how can I make these grand assumptions that He'll be able to take me where no one else ever has before?

Well, for starters, (sticks tongue out) You don't know Nolan, and I do. Nolan is my people. I trust his word as law. Nolan is Drogo's former protege and has absolutely nothing but ecstatic words for what I can expect to experience in Drogo's care.

And Drogo himself knows exactly how unspoiled I am. He knows I'm untouched. He knows how hard it's been for me to trust, and even when I did trust, there was no follow through. He knows how hard this path has been for me.

Drogo is really the first person who has locked onto the reality that I'm an Alpha in my own right, I don't bend to just anyone. Not only that, he's the first person who's really understood that I'm also a self-aware Goddess with immense power. He was the first person to ask the question 'If a Goddess is kneeling at my feet, what does that make me?'

He was the first person who got that.

He was the first person to understand what a responsibility it is to hold that kind of power in his hands. He was the first person to understand that I don't trust just anyone to hold that kind of power. Not over me and not over our reality as a whole.

But, I trust him.

Drogo has promised to reward me greatly for the trust and faith that I've placed in him, and I don't doubt his follow through on that for a single second either.

We're so well matched, he and I.

I don't even have the words for how grateful I am for that...

Mental Health / Self-Care:

- Spoons -  I'm moving so slow today... but it would be good to at least get a few more dishes washed.

- Writing -  Definitely happening today!!

- Misc. - I baked a fucking cake. Don’t judge me.

Physical Health / Self-Care:

I feel I've been good about certain points of physical self-care, like taking care of my hair and skin and eating healthier/more regularly. Granted, yes, cakes do happen, but they're a mental health reality.

I'm also facing my fear of slut-shaming and getting a full STD screening on Wednesday, including the invasive Pap. Drogo is empowering the fuck out of me to end my own stigma about safe sex and take better care of myself in that regard. I can still have all the fun of spontaneous sex and all the rewards of a full connection to someone, just after I've seen recent test results.

I'm really glad that he's in my life.

Potential(s) [TCN =Temporary Code Name]

 - Drogo -  ... and then there's the other half of this...

You see...

You can't have a claim like this without it going both ways. That's just the Law of Paradox.

When Drogo claims me, he'll also accept the reverse bond of belonging to me as well. Not in a possessive way, but he becomes just as much my blessed responsibility as I am his.

He's mine to spoil, care for, and fuck.

His lips become the portal for me to infect him with my passion.

His skin becomes the tender canvas for me to paint him with electric touches.

His knotted muscles become the targets for me to exact the pressure of total annihilation upon.

Pleasure is mine to inflict...

... and I intend to leave him breathless.

 - Brodie -  We've had a few more conversations about rough sex and role-play. I think Brodie and I are going to get along just fine. Now, we just need to reschedule our date, which is fast becoming no small thing with the way my calendar is starting to fill way the fuck up.

 - TCN:Kell  - So, that cuddle date was yesterday.

Um... really sweet guy. Super respectful of boundaries and had a long talk with me beforehand regarding what was and wasn't okay... I was really clear with him that I already felt comfortable and safe, and consent was given. Don't ask, just escalate.

He was quietly dominant in his own way, in the sense that he knew what he wanted in terms of positions and how he wanted me to touch him, and he had no problem asking for that, which was greatly appreciated.

And we napped in each other's arms, which was super sweet except for the fucking nightmare I had. Although, I totally get what my subconscious was trying to tell me. And I hate it, but it's right, and it gives me more reasons to let shit go.

However... in the end... Kell ended up asking for a lot of consent anyway, and he was just... tame.

He's beautiful and perfect in his own way and he's going to make other cuddlers and lovers very happy.

But, he's just not beast-mode enough for me.

I'm completely ambivalent over whether or not I see him again.

 - Alpha-cub -  He sent me the loveliest, most intense email last night. Just checking in, but he included an impressionist painting of a very dominant sex scene.

Holy fuck, he made me squirm.

Really looking forward to Thursday.

 - TCN:Nelson -  I have to admit, I'm really not feeling the love/lust/Primal here. I'm letting it drop. If I don't hear from him by Tuesday, I'm giving away his date on Friday to someone more deserving. --->>>>

 - TCN:Kobe -  ---->>>> Because my godz fucking LOVE me and actually respond to me when I do my solitary sex magick and make requests. Pure Law of Attraction too... my writing has a way of pulling people in as well.

Kobe is just some random guy I found on OKC's Double Take and I knew he'd like the Facebook group I'm in...

But, we got to talking and he brought up that he's a switch because I'd mentioned that on my profile. Then I clarified what I meant and that I'm actually submissive, Primal:prey, but he didn't know what I meant by that. So, I pointed him towards my Con/Non-Con fantasy.

As it would happen to turn out... it's right in line with his fantasies and we ended up discussing several different scenes to role-play out.

We connect regarding our individual poly situations too.

Holy fuck...

... I mean, wow.

End Notes:  

So… probably a short nap and then dishes?

Maybe cake.

I think there should be cake.