He's bringing me in from the cold.

How the fuck did I get this lucky two times in a row?

How the hell did I just catch lightning in a jar, twice?

Well, okay... to be fair, I already know the answers to those questions, but still!! This is really damn uncanny and I'm not accustomed to the cosmic forces being this nice to me.

Yeah, I know I earned it. Yeah, I know it's 100% pure level up karma. Yeah, I know It's hardcore Law of Attraction and I'm on point with my LoA game.

But, do you ever get that thing where things just start going a little too well? And you start looking over your shoulder a little bit? Yeah, me too.

Cuddle Crush is one thing... the most alluring creature I've ever encountered in my entire life loves me back and wants me just as much in return... yeah, we have to take it really slow... and I'm okay with that... she's so worth that wait...

… the twist there is that Cuddle Crush and I are both the type of people who would have taken an attraction like ours and jumped headlong into a relationship way to fast. We would have been coiled snakes striking each other at the same time and then dying from each other's venom. All in the name of our love.

Metal-AF and I are both at a place in our lives where we're timid about new connections. (Cuddle Crush was an exception). He has his reasons and so do I. I'm going to be brutally honest and say that my new dating profile is pure verbal barbed wire. It was specifically worded to keep the unworthy OUT.  

… and yet, the two of us gravitated to each other recklessly fast... but we both knew it was going to be okay. It took only a few short days before we were in each other's arms. The only other person who can make such a boast is Bran, and look where that got me (ten years later).

More to the point, meeting Metal-AF was an awakening.  

He found me on the frozen landscape of my heart where I've been hiding for the past 5-6 YEARS.

Hiding...

… because of Set...

… because of the cataclysm that decimated my social circle...

It wasn't until I met Metal-AF that I suddenly realized... I haven't made a single connection that didn't start with sex in the last 5-6 years...  

I haven't tried to make a friend.

I sure as hell haven't tried to keep a friend!

Even the friends I do have, I keep at an arm's length!

I've been in the cold this whole time, too terrified to let anyone get close to me, until now. Metal-AF found me in that cold place and he wrapped his sturdy arms around me. He gave me his warmth and his unconditional, platonic love.

He's bringing me in from the cold.

(long sigh)

It's time.

I'm being selective, of course.

But it's time to trust again.

I'm very grateful to Metal-AF for showing me this new territory to explore.

Mental Health / Self-Care:

- Therapy – Yesterday was a whole new level of self-care. Pure Snuggle Therapy. I pretty much did nothing but snuggle the entire day while Metal-AF and I shared stories about our lives and continued to get to know each other.  

And he listened to me gush about Cuddle Crush... he's my accomplice in a few devious tasks now too. He's helping me do things that should result in her feeling flattered and important... even worshiped.  

She deserves it.

Emotionally/Mentally I'm in an excellent place today. For obvious reasons.

It's really important to note that yesterday's snuggles completely took the sting out of losing the Blue Falcon as my Favorite Sweetie.  

I don't want to go so far as to say that I've found a 'replacement' for the Blue Falcon, because that's kinda impossible. But, I do have someone who will stand/lie down beside me, hold me, and love me through that pain.

That means a lot to me.

- Spoons – Timing's probably going to be in issue, but I really want to get the pots and pans washed today.

- Writing – Nothing new to report.  

- Yarn Therapy - Nothing new to report.

- Sleep / Fitbit – 6 hours 2 minutes, 4x awake, 7x restless, 22 minutes awake/restless.

- Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Magic Hippo Dance – Bran worked too late for me to make it out to a pool yesterday... this is going to be an ongoing issue... tomorrow I need to call insurance and find out what they will help pay for.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – Not really much to report on here. He came home from work after Metal-AF had already gone home. We watched a movie together. The movie had some serious promise but actually really ended up sucking donkey dick through a turtles ass.  

Bran moved on to do some gaming, but I wasn't even paying attention. There were discussions in the Facebook Poly Group and I made a new Facebook/Poly friend and potential cuddle buddy – so I was chatting with him.

Bedtime happened.

Wake up happened.

There were snuggles.

There were goodbye hugs and kisses.

He's off to work now... and I'm getting on with my day.

So, kinda ordinary, but... fuck... isn't that exactly what we were going for? The poetry of a life well lived where we're just comfortable with each other again? Where nothing is strained between us and we can just be loving, next to each other, doing our own thing... not feeling deprived of each other's company?

Aren't these the exact relationship goals that we've been striving for?

Well, fukkin-a!

Mission accomplished.

- The Unicorn - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Sweeties -

Not really dating at this time.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

- Cuddle Crush -  Sooo... I was naughty...  

I teased her...  

She's going to get me back.

She's also aware of Metal-AF now, but I clarified in a private message that he and I are strictly platonic and that even though she shouldn't have any reasons to feel insecure, I wanted to reassure her anyway.

Then I told her flat out that I'm saving myself for her.

She hasn't replied.

I'm letting that one hang there.

I'm not messaging her again until she says something.

- Pathfinder - Nothing new to report.

- Never Enough - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

- Blue Falcon – Movie night tonight! I'm actually excited to hear news about his new Hunni.

- Cuddle Buddies -  

- Metal-AF – Fucking Wow... where the hell do I even start.

Well, I guess I'll start with the truth that Metal-AF is/was a shade bit timid, yet... He needed me to be the instigator. Which is totally cool. It just took me a bit to recognize the fact that I was topping.

I'd already stated that 11am was the appointed time to start our date, and I expected him at that time. But then 11am came and went while we were still texting about it, and it took a few times of me telling him I was ready and him saying 'whenever you're ready' before I finally had to say 'dude, I'm ready, get your ass over here!'

Then he gets here... and doesn't even look at the door... where I'm patiently waiting for him to realize that I'm already standing there, ready to let him in. I had to open the door and be all 'dude, get your ass in here!'

We hugged it out, and that was awesome!! He didn't fail me there. He's an exquisite fucking hugger!!

Chamber of Snuggles accessed. He sat by my side and watched me finish my process of choosing artwork and posting the blog. And then I put Victor away and laid down on the bed all suggestive and 'let's cuddle' and he just sorta stayed righted where he was... so close, but so far.

I had to do a lot of reaching out... but eventually he succumbed to my cuddly wiles and he was mine.

We just held each other and talked... it was amazing... we shared stories about our life experiences. We talked about how devious and evil I'm being with Cuddle Crush and how much we know she's going to get me back... hard. LOL.  

I posted this absolutely AMAZING picture of us to the Poly group and started a roaring conversation on platonic cuddles. That got Metal-AF all revved up and now he's absolutely my partner in crime. The two of us are going to go all out in the group and drive up conversations. We're going to draw some attention to it and make it popular.

What really amazed both of us was how we lost track of time so easily.

He got to my place at noon'ish (a bit before)… next thing I know my 'check the mail' reminder is going off and I know it's 3pm... Back to the cuddles and the talking... my pill reminder goes off and it's 5pm...  

It just kept going like that...  

Altering the time/space continuum...  

Taking us to a different reality where only each other existed...

… and where we hatched evil plots together.

I also had the opportunity to introduce him to my signature soft touch. I wanted to see if I've still got it. He said I both puddle'd and evaporated him...  

Fuck yeah, bitches.

I still got it.

I can't wait til next time

--

(potentials) - I did make another Facebook friend/potential cuddle partner last night – we might have something going on either the 13th or the 28th... or both. We'll see.

End Notes:  

Facebook is blowing the fuck up.

I gotta go, LOL.