That's the kind of loving that makes Goddesses unbreakable.

It feels like I've been looking forward to today for a while now. It's the way my brain processes time. My emotions affect my perception. It's actually been only eleven days... but it feels like a lot longer.

I’m going to go ahead and be brave enough to admit that Mr. Potential has me a tad twitterpated right now.  

But, don't lose your heads here because this is weird. It's a platonic twitterpated.

Like, what the fuck?

Is this what I've become?

Is this the next step in my evolutionary process?

A Borderline who –does NOT- fall recklessly, frantically, IN LOVE with everyone she meets to the point of severe detriment to her own fragile little heart?

Have I honestly become a Borderline who can very passionately, love responsibly? (gasp!) In –moderation- ?

Did I actually become someone who doesn't get so severely emotionally attached to someone that losing them won't crush me into oblivion?

Yeah, yeah, get off my ass. Cuddle Crush is different. She's the exception to absolutely every fucking rule, remember?

I'm talking about guys like Metal-AF and Mr. Potential, who seriously needs a fucking code name so bad right now and I really hope I find it today! (grump) I simply cannot keep calling him Mr. Potential forever!

I have my cuddle date with Mr. Potential today, and I'm talking about the fact that I can't stop thinking about him. So, I’m talking about this notion that today has me excited. That yesterday I had a fuck ton of spoons and I got my house cleaned and everything. It's still cluttered to fuck and Bran's stuff is EVERYWHERE, but I'm pretty sure Mr. Potential won't even notice. He'll be all about the Chamber of Snuggles.

When it comes down to it, what I'm really talking about here is the blissful shift in focus away from Cuddle Crush. Away from pain.

I'm talking about honoring the unique and beautiful soul that's come into my life and already brought so many things with him. He's the kind of friend that a girl like me needs to keep her head up above the water right now. He keeps me moving forward. He gives my heart a reason to feel less broken. He's already such a good friend, and this intentional Friend-Zoning is both mutual and approved.

This new style of loving is so powerful. It burns just as hot as romantic love. It's still just as devoted and just as connected. I'm not emotionally distant. I'm not guarded. I'm not a wall of razor wire. And yet, at the same time, it's so much safer for me because it's –not- romantic love.

Platonic love doesn't make me fragile.

That's a big ass fucking gift right there.

Being able to allow someone close to me without feeling like I'm taking such a huge risk in doing it?

That's power.

That's the kind of loving that makes Goddesses unbreakable.  

Mental Health / Self-Care:

- Therapy – I kinda feel like we just covered this.

- Spoons – I hurt, but I’m okay.

- Writing – Nothing new to report.

- #YarnSlut - Nothing new to report.

- Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

I've been getting really dizzy lately, even just going from sitting to standing. So, it's really possible that I just hit that crucial tipping point in my weight loss where my blood pressure medication is just a titch dose heavy for me right now.

Backing off on physical health meds...

???

So it begins.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – He continues to regale me with stories of his work on Tuesday... I love it. I want him to go and do more of what he loves. Even if it means leaving me.

- The Unicorn - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Sweeties -

Not really dating at this time.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

- Cuddle Crush -  Uhhh... okay...  

So, she tapped in this morning.

It was torture, but I was honest with her about why I'm hurting so much right now. I let her know that she hurt me, and she fucking hates herself for it.

Short version... she's working on keeping me in her life as a potential lover, along with her other loves, and having us all get along.

It will be a process, but I'm not forgotten. I never was forgotten. She's just a suck ass communicator.  

She's going to work on it.

- Pathfinder - Nothing new to report.

- Never Enough - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

- Blue Falcon - Nothing new to report.

- Cuddle Buddies -  

- Metal-AF – CUDDLES TOMORROW!!

(Potential(s)) - CUDDLES TODAY!!

End Notes:  

Platonic twitterpation is awesome.

Friends who are a great support system are awesome.

Cuddle Crush has some work to do.

But I forgive her.  

She didn't mean to hurt me.  

She has a flaw.

We love through flaws.