On compassion...

I'm seriously considering backing out on the 'double penetration fantasy threesome' on Sunday.

Copperhead and I have been getting deeper and deeper in our conversation, and the deeper we go the more I realize that sharing me is hurting him.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not going to stop with my sweeties. Copperhead can't give me the stability of consistent masculine energy. He's leaving to live in a whole 'nother state soon. We are going to have a couple days together, but after that… it will be nothing. He'll be another long distance relationship that's further away from me than Bran is right now. You know I can't survive that.

But… that doesn't mean that I have to hurt him while he is with me. And, it especially doesn't mean that I should just leave him out on the couch in the living room while I get some alone time with his friend to make the friend comfortable with me.

This is hurting him. And I'm not sure it's worth the price of hurting him.

There will always be another opportunity for me to have that threesome with a couple of good friends that are completely okay with it.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that letting go with them is going to be difficult. I just can't bear to cause Copperhead any pain.

I'll keep you updated as events unfold. I only wrote to Copperhead this morning about my possibly backing out. We'll see if he can suck it up enough for us all to move forward. But, I will not judge him one bit if he agrees that we shouldn't go through with it.

My friend/relationship with him is more important than my fantasy.