Let it burn...

Nothing really matters anymore.

Nothing I do matters.

This blog is a fucking joke.

I'm not helping anyone.

This isn't some grand, fucking psychopomp.

This is an ego trip.

The soul-crushing reality is that I'm fucking worthless.

My own husband can't even stand to be in the same state as me.

I poisoned my own wonder twin.

Cuddle Crush's wife hates me so much that she'll never let Cuddle Crush actually date me, and without that physical relationship I might as well be fucking dog turd to her. None of my love actually even fucking reaches her when she's in pain. She only needs the people hurting her to notice her bleeding on the floor. She only needs the people close to her.

That person is never going to be me.

Rabbit is by my side no matter what, and that... fucking hell... I don't deserve it. I don't deserve him. I don't deserve the kind of love that he's offering me. He's worth so much better than me.

I'm still trying to be a good person for him, though. I'm still letting him love me and I'm still loving him back. I'm still letting him help.

I just don't feel like I'm worth it.

I feel like it's only a matter of time before he figures it out that I'm toxic to him too and he breaks it off for his own safety.

He has every right to.

Then there's Cain and TCN:Sawyer... how long do I have before they figure it out and they leave me too?

How much time do I have left before I'm absolutely alone in this?

I don't deserve to be loved by any of them.

I don't deserve them.

Let it burn.

Let it all just fucking burn.