A Bad Case of the Blah's...

Not sure where I am with a lot of things this morning. I'm feeling pretty 'blah' about a lot of things. Most of that is probably the new medication working. The side effect is hitting me nice and hard, but the primary effect that I'm going for seems like it has yet to hit. I still get really hungry and it still seems like I eat way too much.

I really need to get off my ass and start counting calories again.

It's just that a lot of what I eat is 'homemade' and it's hard to figure out calories by portion and shit.

*grump*

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - Okay, I'm not going to lie. I speed through a lot of my daily shit (and skip a lot of shit, like doing the dishes) just so I can get back to the gaming.

Someone in my new guild gifted me with two very expensive items last night. And I’m HAPPY. I have a new flying mount and a new head piece that matches my outfit.

Yes.

I'm a dork.

 - Writing - Chapter 7 expanded and well underway. The closer I get to 10, though… shoot… it's starting to feel like I've not put enough detail into the timing of Jessa and Daniel's cat and mousing before that first sex scene. If I end up having to raise my final word count again? Crap. That final 1/4 is going to be even harder to write!!

GRR

 - Sleep / Fitbit - Ok, last night was hell. Not going to lie. But it's ALWAYS hell when next to my Spawn. At least I didn't take any elbow's to the spine last night. So, we're sitting at 7 hours, 33 minutes, 3x awake, 17x restless, total of 62 minutes awake/restless. Srsly? I lost a whole hour's worth of sleep quality. UGH!

 - Fur-babies - Dreamy has now been written into my Chapter 7, LOL.

Just sayin'

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Caffeine - Ye GODS! It is SO frakkin hard to keep it to 3!

I really keep wanting to go back for number 4… or even 5…

Ahh, addiction.

I haven't missed you a bit.

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - We go back and forth…

*sigh*

Some days I hear from him a lot… and I'm annoyed because it cuts into my productive or gaming time. Other days I don't hear from him at all… and I'm heartbroken that _she_ is still in the way.

FUCK!

If that isn't 100% pure Borderline Personality Disorder, I don't fucking know what is.

I love him more after the days when he's been in consistent positive contact. He's really sick right now, so he's home a lot and able to send quite a few messages.

Yeah, you read right.

I still love him.

Some days it's easier on me if I don't love him, though.

Do you see how maddening this is for me?

*sigh*

I miss Rain.

I need an influx of positive male energy.

Hopefully I'm still getting that tomorrow.

 - The Unicorn - Okay, she made out like a bandit this year! Ostara-wise, she has about $60 worth of goodies. I just HAD to make up for last years epic failure. I hope she likes it all. She got more than just candy. She got some other cool things that should last her a while too. Some activity things and toys.

So far she still seems to believe in Frances.

Or, if she doesn't, she hasn't let on to me yet.

There are Instagram pics of her haul. Let me know if you want to be added.  :)

Now I just wish she'd share. That candy looks good! LOL

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bio's there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]

 - Recent Encounters - Nothing new to report.

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - Nothing new to report.

 - Rain - He's been quiet. I hope we're still on for tomorrow. It would crush me if he suddenly started ghosting me. I hope he's just been busy like I've been busy.

I really need to see him.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - Nothing new to report.

 - The Hopefuls - SURPRISINGLY! There are actually two new hopefuls on the list. I have a date on Wednesday and another date on Friday. Possibly even a third this weekend.

Not sure what the fuck is going on there. But, these two were nice enough (gentlemanly) that they got past my walls enough to score a date with me.

It also helps that they're both horror nerds.

So, cross your fingers. Hopefully there's some new connections forming and I can add more favorite sweeties in soon!!

 - Honorable Mentions - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Former Sweeties:

 - Jasper - I never checked on Jasper yesterday!! SHOOT!! I'm a bad friend! I got distracted!

End Notes:

All in all, I feel better knowing that there are some potential new sweeties on the radar. I know I’m done with one-night-stands. I hate them. Even if they feed me a little bit, it's like empty calories. I need sweeties like Rain to give me the real nourishment I need to survive what I'm enduring right now.

But, so far, today is just a day…

I just hope I see Rain tomorrow.

I'll feel so much better after some good sweetie time.