Gingersnap ended up
having to cancel on me. There was a family emergency that he needed to attend
to. He took a moment to share with me that this has been an ongoing theme on
his end for months. I was able to infer that the reason he went radio silent on
me was due to these family emergencies.
These aren't 'drama'
family emergencies.
These are 'grief and
loss' family emergencies.
So, this isn't the
kind of thing where one would suggest merely exiting from the family. No, this
is 'extend sympathy' and make sure that the friend/lover in question knows
where to come for a shoulder to cry on if it comes to that.
This did, however,
leave me to eat dinner alone. *smile* I'm okay with that. It was my first time
making chicken and dumplings and it turned out AMAZING.
So, I took the quiet
night in and got restarted on the leg warmers I'm making for Misha. I'm ready
to close the upper cuff on the first one now, but it was time to get the
bedtime snack in when I got that far. So, we'll see where I get with it today
if I get anywhere at all.
New potential date
tonight.
First new date since
Rain.
We'll see how it
goes.
More tired than
normal this morning… Hmm…
Okay, so, the
update:
Mental Health / Unfuck
Yourself:
- Therapy - I
continue to plug away at my various therapies. They help a lot. Between writing
and knitting, a lot of my time is well spent. I got an email yesterday
regarding my game. There was a gift to be picked up. I stopped gaming months
ago. I just didn't need the time suck away from my writing. But this gift
promised classic fashion (so far it has yet to deliver). Once I got in and
redeemed my gift, though, I found out that it could be opened once a day for 14
days. So, okay. There might be fashion
at some point. So, Whatever. It's a temporary time suck for me to at least log
in and open my prezzie.
- Writing - I
continue to increase my comfort level with chapter revisions being a multi-day
process. Now that I'm not trying to cram it all into one day, it's going much
better. I'm even getting used to reading and refining each chapter multiple
times.
NOW, the really
great news is that yesterdays Chapter 5 revision put my word count at only
about 500 words under the goal. So, this means that future chapters might even
put me over a bit.
THIS IS VERY GOOD.
- Sleep /
Fitbit - Hmm… I did get to bed a little late because I was exchanging
snaps with Bran. Okay… so the Fitbit still reports roughly 8 hours with the
same number of interruptions. The tally is 7 hours, 41 minutes, 1x awake, 16x
restless. PLUS I'm super tired this morning.
I did get up for a
water refill, but then I didn't drink any of it.
I didn't wake up
before the alarm like I normally do. I was pulled directly out of REM sleep.
So, that's left me feeling more groggy than usual.
So, this new sleep
med that I'm 'sampling' is supposed to inhibit my 'wake now' brain
chemical/signals… It doesn't appear to actually be keeping me asleep during the
night, though.
It seems to just be
making it harder for me to get up in the morning.
So… do I lie and say
that it worked so my insurance might approve me for more? Or do I just tell the
truth, say it didn't work, and try for something else? Was the sampling I
received enough pills for it to build up in my system and start to work? Does it
even need to build up in my system to work?
I think I better see
my psychiatrist again.
I just checked and
Bubbles and I have another appointment on the 28th. So, I think I'll probably
just tell the truth and see if we can come up with a better answer.
- Fur-babies - One
visit from Dreamy yesterday. Snuggles were had.
Physical Health / Unfuck
Yourself:
- Caffeine - I
need 4 today… not awake at all.
Relationships / Family:
- Bran - We're
doing our level best to survive the separation. He calls me whenever he can. He
messages me on Telegram or Snapchat when he can. It's not enough… But, that's
why I need/have my sweeties to help me get through this.
Relationships / Sweeties:
[ If you're a reader and having
trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, scroll down to the end of the
entries. There's a list of names/bio's in the footer there. - this is a work in
progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't
worry, I'll get to you. ]
- Recent
Encounters - Again, Gingersnap had to cancel.
- Updates on
Favorites -
The Blue Falcon
seems to effortlessly slip into some sort of 'dad mode'. I guess he gets
accused of being a know-it-all a lot, and I can see where that might be a
thing. But, he genuinely cares about people and wants to help them.
So, Bran, on his
last visit. He gave me a flex brew coffee maker that will do grounds into a pot
or pods into a travel mug. I was futzing around with this thing trying to get
the pod side to disengage and once I got it out it completely came apart on me.
As the Blue Falcon
was preparing to leave me on Wednesday, I mentioned that I was going to have
either him or Rain take a look at it for me. The Blue Falcon seems to want to
protect me from Rain as much as possible. (or at least, that's the read I got)
So, the Blue Falcon told me to bring it out.
After some playing
with it, he figured out how it was supposed to go back together. And then he
're-broke' it and stood over me while he made me put it back together. He
wanted to make sure I could get it operational without help. LOL.
Okay, I don’t know
about you, but I thought that was adorable as hell.
I love it that he's
always looking out for me.
He has a date this
weekend. This could be the future Wife/Spawn-Mom.
The Blue Falcon is
the monogamous type. If he meets Wife/Spawn-Mom, our sexual relationship ends.
But, I know we'll always be friends and that we'll still see each other. I know
he'll especially still want to come over when the Unicorn is with me because he
wants Dad-Practice.
Yes. I will be sad
to lose him as a lover. But, it won't break me. Not like Set did. And, also, if
we remain friends then the door is always open for us to resume our
relationship as lovers if he gets his heart broken.
I’m hopeful for him.
- Rain - Okay,
I feel really bad about this. But, I actually forgot to check in on Rain
yesterday. My thoughts were on the writing/revision, and then by the time I'd
gotten far enough in my Order of Operations to where I might have checked on
him, it was time for me to start on the soup for Gingersnap. And then I was in
deep Yarn Therapy mode.
I did drop him a
note close to bedtime, but I never heard back.
I hope he's okay. I
know he's busy this week, so I'm trying not to bug him too much.
I'm going to admit
it, I have been thinking about Gingersnap a little more than I've been thinking
about Rain.
I need a fresh
influx of Rain energy to get my head back on him.
Or do I?
Maybe not thinking
about him quite so much is what's better for me. I know the Blue Falcon is
really worried that my emotional attachment towards rain is going to get me
hurt. He might be right. I know Rain himself kinda agreed with the Blue Falcon
on that.
But, I know I still
love him.
And, he seems to
need me to love him.
UGH! Rain is
frustrating. I never really know where my head is/should be at with him!
Relationships / Potentials
and Honorable Mentions:
- The One
Timers - Gingersnap is still here because he had to cancel. *poo!*
We have yet to reschedule. Cookie and I have been in contact, so I'm
hopeful of another date there.
- The Hopefuls
- I have a date tonight. So, YAY for not being in the death spiral.
Sadly… I'm not often
hopeful that these things will ever turn out to be more than just a one time
thing. Granted, YES, sometimes they come back. Sometimes the even come back
after a long period of 'zero communication'. But if they don't stay in contact
I don't have much hope.
Then there are the
guys who I know are going to work out BEFORE the first date. Rain was one of
those. I just knew he was going to be there. The connection was obvious and way
more than just sexual.
- Honorable
Mentions - My friend Skippy likes to check in on me once in awhile.
Skippy and I probably would have met in person if I was at all bisexual. He is
in an open relationship, but their agreement is that they only get to play
together. So, since I'm in the 'I don't trust anything with tits' phase… it's
just not going to happen.
Skippy reads this,
though. *smile*
He likes reading
about my exploits.
He checked in with
me last night to tell me that I'd made a cameo in his dreams. He was dreaming
about a foursome, and the other couple knew me and invited me in. Skippy and I
recognized each other but kept the secret to ourselves.
Skippy is pretty
special. I would love to play with him sometime, but I know he won't do
anything that could hurt his beloved. I'm cool with that.
Relationships / Former
Sweeties:
- Jasper -
Nothing new to report.
End Notes:
Bran is on paid
vacation from one of his jobs this week. So, there's been less communication
most days because he's hanging around _her_. Today is different though. He's
browsing at a gun shop as I'm typing this. He has me on the phone with him and
I'm overhearing the entire conversation between him and the gun shop guy. LOL.
It's pretty cool.
He was even talking
about the Springfield XD for a moment and said 'My wife actually carries the
Springfield XD'.
Yes.
When he's out and
about, if he used the word 'wife' he's referring to me. Not her.
*sigh*
I’m just going to be
happy once he's home and she's no longer a problem.
No comments:
Post a Comment