Looks like Rain today... :)

Ye Gods, it's shaping up to be a weird week and it's only Tuesday!!

Pretty much started last Friday when I met Friday. The more he and I chat on OKC, the more we realize we're ideally matched in every way. Our sexual needs are absolutely on point. He's the kind of guy who will hold me down and mean it. I'm very excited.

The weekend was great with the Unicorn, but kind of a bust when Rain couldn't make it out.

Nevertheless, the week shaped up to have FOUR dates scheduled. One of them a repeat. Hence, the Giver got his name.

So, yesterday I go to check in on my date for the evening and I get: "Sorry, I’m not horny enough to meet today."

WHAT THE FUCK?!

It's literally ALL OVER my profile that I'm not interested in just sex. I want relationships with context and rapport. And he's bailing because sex was the only thing on his menu? What an ass! I immediately blocked the fucker and then checked in on the Giver. Since his original request was yesterday (Monday). But, he'd already made plans, so we kept our date for today (Tuesday)

Then I hear from Rain this morning, asking if he can come over tonight.

I immediately canceled with the Giver.

Rain is a favorite. Even if the Giver is a repeat. Rain is a favorite. He gets priority status.

So. We're still sitting at THREE dates this week. Back to FOUR if the Giver reschedules before Sunday.

WOW!

Some weeks my life is just a whirlwind, I tell ya.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - I really am so happy that I got back into the gaming. I can clearly tell the difference in my mood since I started again.

I see both Valkyrie and Bubbles today. Hopefully Bubbles and I will lock down on a different / better med to help me sleep better.

 - Writing - I did this first thing this morning. Which is why this entry is coming a little later than normal. I wanted to make sure that I had the completed chapter 7 ready to go for Valkyrie.

Last week, at this time, I was only finishing up chapter 6. That means I've honed revision (by chapter) down to less than a week. Hopefully I can continue to streamline the process. I've already gotten it down to where I'm only taking a couple of hours a day at it before I have to sleep on the chapter for a day. Granted, that's still 'the first act'. Revision times might go up again once I start on act 2.

The other thing, though?

I'm still light on details, and I can feel it.

I might need to raise my final word count again…

Not sure yet.

If I have to raise it to get in more detail and more back story, it's going to make that third act even harder to write.

I really wish I knew how to fix that already.

I think I'll go forward with what I have. I'll keep details and back stories confined to act two… maybe three as well… make everything climax at the same time.

Maybe that's the fix I'm going for.

 - Sleep / Fitbit - I HAD WATER IN MY BOTTLE THIS MORNING!! That means I woke up and rolled over less during the night! RIGHT?!  Let's check the Fitbit: Weird… 8 hours, 8 minutes, 3x awake, 16 x restless, 47 minutes total awake/restless… that's still the same sleep quality.

So I guess I was just too lazy to roll over and hydrate. LOL

 - Fur-babies - Dreamy just dropped by. Practically took a nap in my lap. It was awesome.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Caffeine - Just 3 today

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - I feel better.

A lot better.

I know that my 'lack of love' is just pain avoidance.

I know that will go away when he comes home.

I know that he will come home.

Eventually.

 - The Unicorn - She forgot her charger here… that means an extra face to face with JerkDad to give it back.  :/

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bio's there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]

 - Recent Encounters - Monday didn't happen - and we're ALL happier for it!!

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - We're still on for the 2nd and the 3rd. Surviving the anniversary is a go! YES!

 - Rain - DATE TONIGHT!!

Who knows. I might even be brave enough to say words out loud.

I don't know yet.

It will only be our third date.

It's way too soon for me to feel the way I do about him and I know it. But, my heart clings to people like him. He's an opiate grade pain reliever to my soul. More to the point, he wants to be.

Again…

Who wouldn't love him for that?

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - The Giver: I hope we're able to reschedule for this week.

 - The Hopefuls - I've heard nothing from Wednesday… so, he barely graces the stage as a hopeful.

Friday, though.

Holy shit.

He's someone who can be rough with me the way I need someone to be rough with me… and he can mean it. This is his natural output. This is who he is.

This isn't someone faking getting rough with me just to make me happy or to _try_ to sexually satisfy me.

This is someone who is very well in touch with his inner monster and embraces it.

I can't wait to give you the update on that one.

 - Honorable Mentions - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Former Sweeties:

 - Jasper - He checked in this morning. He's doing okay, for the most part. He seems to be pretty well locked in a 'could be better, could be worse' holding pattern.

Did I tell you that he didn’t take sex all the way off the table with us?

Yeah, he says we'll play it by ear.

*shrug*

I’m okay without it.

I really don't want to risk getting addicted to him again. Not when I'm only going to lose him again. And especially not now that I have Friday in my life.

Jasper is afraid of his inner monster.

Friday isn't.

Given the choice, I'd take Friday.

So far…

Friday still hasn't happened yet. So, there's always the potential for crushing disappointment there. But… a lot of hope too. Hope can be dangerous, but right now I don't care.

End Notes:

I gotta wrap up and get this posted.

Have a good day everyone!!